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THE CHARDONNAY OF TRUTH

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MONDAY 27th JULY 2020

This is a response to a Flash Fiction prompt from ‘Putting My Feet In the Dirt’, Writing Prompts hosted by ‘M’.
Which can be found by following the link below..

July Writing Prompts

THE CHARDONNAY OF TRUTH

by John Yeo

   ‘Cheers!’ announced the toastmaster, smiling broadly. Everyone around the table raised their glasses to wish the happy couple well. The best man was tipsy and the wine was slowly going to his head.

The family around the table were full of cheer as toast after toast was made to speed the happy couple on their way to married bliss.

  Roger, the best man, was an old friend of the bridegroom, Peter. He’d known both Peter and Jane for years, ever since their college years together. 

 When it came time for the best man’s speech, Roger struggled to his feet and loudly burped, there was a ripple of surprise from the wedding guests seated around the top table. The speech went roughly as follows.

 ‘Ladies and gentlemen, I apologise for being slightly tipsy as I confess, I’ve overindulged in this excellent Chardonnay. I’ve known both of this happy couple for many years, especially Jane who I’ve been more than close to. In fact I knew Jane long before Peter and I’ve had the pleasure of eating and sleeping with her many times over the years since I’ve known her. You can imagine my feelings when my best friend came into our lives at college and stole her away from me.’ 

 There was a sudden silence around the table, in fact you could have cut the air with a knife. Roger clumsily picked up his glass and emitted another loud burp.

 Then announced, ‘Ladies and Gentlemen, please refill your glasses with the Chardonnay of truth as I make a toast to the happy couple. My best friend Peter and my adorable sister Jane, may they spend many happy years together.’

© Written by John Yeo

HE WAS HUNGRY FOR HER

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SUNDAY 26th JUNE 2020

This is a response to a Flash Fiction prompt from ‘Putting My Feet In the Dirt’, Writing Prompts hosted by ‘M’.
Which can be found by following the link below..

July Writing Prompts
Image courtesy of pixabay.com

HE WAS HUNGRY FOR HER

by John Yeo

Captain Martin a dedicated astronaut and flyer,

Met Mary Lee, a high flying flirt and a tease, 

He was so besotted he was hungry for her.

~

Captain Martin, enveloped with strong desire

The flight plan filled his heart with unease,

Captain Martin a dedicated astronaut and flyer.

~

Copilot Mary smiled as the rocket flew higher

The Captain was impressed with her expertise 

He was so besotted he was hungry for her.

~

Deep space surrounded the rocket, still on fire 

Mary Lee pouted, flashed her eyes to unfreeze

Captain Martin a dedicated astronaut and flyer.

~

The autopilot flew onward, Mary removed her attire

Captain Martin approached trying hard to please.

He was so besotted he was hungry for her.

~

The stars shone brilliantly, fate seemed to conspire

Lighting a scene for love, with no guarantees. 

Captain Martin a dedicated astronaut and flyer 

He was so besotted he was hungry for her.

© Written by John Yeo

Image courtesy of pixabay.com

BOTTLE OF BAMBOOZLED

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SATURDAY 25th JULY 2020

This is a response to a Flash Fiction prompt from ‘Putting My Feet In the Dirt’, Writing Prompts hosted by ‘M’.
Which can be found by following the link below..

July Writing Prompts

A BOTTLE OF BAMBOOZLED

by John Yeo

   His Lordship suddenly passed away from a massive heart attack. He’d always been a man who took risks and he’d invested the family fortune in fine art and antique furniture. His pride and joy had always been his wine cellar which was packed to the roof with racks containing many bottles of rare wine.

    Some months later when the late Lords affairs were settled her Ladyship received a huge bill for death duties. Lady Ronson, was a petite gray haired lady, who’d led a sheltered life, always leaving the financial decisions to her husband. 

     ‘What am I going to do?’ she asked her son. Sir Nigel, who was a sharp stockbroker, with extremely square shoulders. At 6’ 6”, he was a formidable looking man

       ‘Well Mother, we’ll have to raise money quickly by selling off the family silver, starting with Father’s wine cellar. I know just the people to deal with this for us, Coldmarten and Carter, a firm of auctioneers who specialise in fine wine.

  A few days later Sir Nigel arrived with a portly fellow with a handlebar moustache, wearing a brown tweed suit. 

    ‘Mother, allow me to introduce you to Professor Coldmarten, a respected, proficient, auctioneer, he would like to examine the wines in Father’s cellar with a view to valuing them for auction.’

     ‘Of course!’  said Lady Ronson.

Two hours later Professor Coldmarten and Sir Nigel approached Lady Ronson with some sad news.

   ‘Mother, I’m afraid, Dad has been consistently robbed and bamboozled over the years. Most of the wine in the cellar is valueless. Absolute plonk! We’ll have to have the death duties revised and sell this rubbish for what we can get. Sadly it won’t be much.’

  Some months later when the estate death duties had been revised, Sir Nigel bought a place in Bermuda and retired. Professor Coldmarten became quite prosperous from the sale of some exceptionally rare wines that seemed to have suddenly arrived on the market. Lady Ronson went to live in an upmarket sheltered accommodation.

 Sir Nigel and the Professor visited her Ladyship five years later and they all raised a glass from the last ‘bottle of bamboozled’.

Do you know, the wine was really rather good.

 © Written by John Yeo

BREAD AND BUTTER NEVER TASTED SO GOOD

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FRIDAY 24th JULY 2020

This is a response to a Flash Fiction prompt from ‘Putting My Feet In the Dirt’, Writing Prompts hosted by ‘M’.
Which can be found by following the link below..

July Writing Prompts

BREAD AND BUTTER NEVER TASTED SO GOOD 

by John Yeo

  Our hard work on the allotment had finally paid off and we were about to taste the fruits of our labour. We harvested some lettuce, tomatoes, beetroot, onions and some incredibly tasty soft fruit. We proudly took our crops home and laid them out on the kitchen table. Suddenly Margaret jumped back in surprise as a large green caterpillar idly rambled across the table. We both laughed out loud as I exclaimed, ‘Don’t worry, that’s all part of the fun of growing organic vegetables.’ Margaret quickly piled the lettuces into the kitchen sink and turned the taps full on. The stray caterpillar was gently placed on our lawn, I suspect this would have been an alien environment for this wanderer, as there are no handy lettuces nearby and many avian predators to contend with.

   Margaret then had the brilliant idea of preparing a huge club sandwich with some freshly baked homemade bread. I smiled in agreement. Soon the bread maker was in action and the familiar smell of freshly baked bread filled our kitchen. When the bread was made, Margaret cut a thin slice and liberally spread butter all over. The butter was visibly melting into the slice of hot, newly baked, fresh, homemade bread. I slowly consumed this taster, allowing the taste buds to savour the delicious flavour. Bread and butter never tasted so good. 

 I have to admit our club sandwich of fresh home grown tasty vegetables was a bit of an anticlimax after the initial taster. However we both thoroughly enjoyed our well earned, well deserved lunch.

© Written by John Yeo

MIND IN THE MAKING

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THURSDAY 23rd JULY 2020

This is a response to a Flash Fiction prompt from ‘Putting My Feet In the Dirt’, Writing Prompts hosted by ‘M’.
Which can be found by following the link below..

July Writing Prompts

MIND IN THE MAKING

by John Yeo

  There was silence in the outer hemispheres of the galaxy for millennia. The elder trolls were unique in the areas of communication throughout the exo-galactic panoply of extraordinary people. Their way of communicating by nonverbal means had been raised to new heights. 

 On an extraordinary blue planet life was formed and developed. Asteroids had collided and re-collided. Comets visited;  bringing chemicals to permeate a life-giving mix of chemicals giving rise to unique life-forms. Exoplasm mingled and re-mingled again in the hands of the entity that was controlling the flow of matter. 

 The life forms mixed and remixed, soon a survivor in the likeness of the controller emerged. “Hey!” Thought the controller; “I am almost there!”

 Then to his delight he heard the word. “Hey!” Repeated back to him.

Shocked, he silently strained his ultrasonic hearing to the limits.

Then the silence was broken by the familiar sound of his Mother’s voice resonating around the galaxy.

“God; put your toys away! It’s late!”

“Oh Mother! Please; Can’t I just have another couple of aeons?”

© Written by John Yeo

THE KISS THAT SAID IT ALL

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WEDNESDAY 22nd JULY 2020

This is a response to a Flash Fiction prompt from ‘Putting My Feet In the Dirt’, Writing Prompts hosted by ‘M’.
Which can be found by following the link below..

July Writing Prompts

THE KISS THAT SAID IT ALL

by John Yeo

He was a fledgling jackdaw who’d just left the nest

Driven away from safety forced into flight

Natural forces put his survival instincts to test.

~

He flew to the allotment, where he puffed out his chest.

The gardeners smiled at this unusual sight

He was a fledgling jackdaw who’d just left the nest.

~

He hopped to the fruit bushes, a welcome guest

Jacko feasted and cocked his head without fright

Natural forces put his survival instincts to the test.

~

He came closer, fluffed his feathers and expressed

His fearlessness filled the gardeners with delight

He was a fledgling jackdaw who’d just left the nest.

~

Jacko hardly seemed to notice that predators exist

He was trusting fellow with his eyes shining bright

Natural forces put his survival instincts to the test.

~

Jacko left and was gone for a day and a night.

Giving His new found friends a terrible fright.

He was a fledgling jackdaw who’d just left the nest.

Natural forces put his survival instincts to the test.

~

Margaret and John taken by a sight full of wonder

Jacko a friendly bird had torn their hearts asunder

He appeared to tease and delight beyond recall

They embraced each other with the kiss that said it all.

© Written by John Yeo

SOMEDAY I’LL GET THERE

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TUESDAY 21st JULY 2020

This is a response to a Flash Fiction prompt from ‘Putting My Feet In the Dirt’, Writing Prompts hosted by ‘M’.
Which can be found by following the link below..

July Writing Prompts

SOMEDAY I’LL GET THERE 

by John Yeo

   ‘Someday I’ll get there, but I wish the finishing line would become visible. No one knows where we’re going or what this life’s all about. Many, many people, have come and gone in my lifetime. I’ve lived my life, to the best of my knowledge without hurting anyone. I keep puzzling away at the thought of what happens to the thoughts and feelings that have accumulated in my consciousness and have certainly contributed to my ongoing behaviour. These experiences and learned behaviour are ‘me’, whether I like the idea of the ‘me’, I have become or not. The signposts to the future, ‘there’, I’m heading towards are clear in some respects as I travel towards the final, ‘there’. Everything in the here and now I have built, from the resources my short lifespan has had access to, will strengthen my desire to press on and stumble blindly towards the ‘there’, I’m living to reach. Wherever I’m traveling to, is a destination that will only become clear to me when I get there. In the meantime I would like to answer the unanswerable but obvious finality and say to everyone here. Every microsecond I reach another ‘there’, that reveals a milestone which points to another milestone. I cannot but reiterate my first thought…….

Someday I’ll get there.’

© Written by John Yeo.

TWO HANDS ARE ALL I’VE GOT

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MONDAY 20th JULY 2020

This is a response to a Flash Fiction prompt from ‘Putting My Feet In the Dirt’, Writing Prompts hosted by ‘M’.
Which can be found by following the link below..

July Writing Prompts

TWO HANDS ARE ALL I’VE GOT

by John Yeo

   The audience were spellbound as the greatest magician in history started to perform. The cards always fell in the right order for him as the stooge on the stage passed them to him face down. He could predict which card would turn up whenever he shuffled the pack. 

 ‘Would anyone in the audience care to step up and select a card and I’ll pay £50 to anyone who can trip me up.’

  Glen was a daredevil sort of chap and leapt forward to volunteer. ‘I’ll do it! I bet I can stop you from making your predictions.’

Walden, the magician smiled and nodded, he had seen so many of this type over the years, he could almost predict what was going through the young man’s mind.

The cards were dealt and Walden was correct every time. All of a sudden the youngster dealt the cards, grabbed the magician by the wrists and held his hands tightly. ‘Now tell me what card is upside down on top of the pack, charlatan’.

 ‘Walden smiled and replied, ‘Look, you’re holding my hands, two hands are all I’ve got, I’m blindfolded, the card on top is the six of diamonds.’ 

   With that, Walden delivered a well aimed kick to Glens groin, causing him to double over in pain and let his hands free. Walden then turned the card over to reveal he was right. 

‘Two hands maybe all I’ve got and all I need, when I play the cards right.

© Written by John Yeo

NICETIES DON’T BRING RAINBOWS

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SUNDAY 19th JULY 2020

This is a response to a Flash Fiction prompt from ‘Putting My Feet In the Dirt’, Writing Prompts hosted by ‘M’.
Which can be found by following the link below..

July Writing Prompts

NICETIES DON’T BRING RAINBOWS

by John Yeo

    Grandma Rawlings was an invalid permanently confined to her bed. Little Mary and Peter went for a visit and dashed into her bedroom carrying gifts and sat on the side of her bed.

     ‘Hallo Granny! They chorused, ‘How are you feeling today?’

    ‘Fine thanks, you two. Have you been behaving yourselves and being nice to everyone?’

   Peter replied, ‘Of course Grandma! We got caught in a shower on the way here, but the sun was shining at the same time.’

   Mary laughingly butted in and said, ‘Hey Granny! Did you see the lovely rainbow today?  It was huge and spread right across the sky.’

   ‘Don’t be silly Mary, that’s not very nice. Your Granny has to stay in bed all of the time. However can she see the rainbow outside?’ Interrupted their Mother, who had just entered the bedroom with a tray containing tea and biscuits.

   ‘Oh! Don’t worry dear! Don’t blame the children. They’ll never understand that however good they are, niceties don’t bring rainbows.’

    At that point their Father smiled and said, ‘Oh yes they do! Look here,’ Then he produced his mobile phone with a beautiful photograph of the rainbow.

   The old lady’s face lit up.  ‘Oh Thanks!,  That’s nice!’ 

© Written by John Yeo