HEY!

Posted on Dec 15, 2016 by John Yeo | 2 Comments

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A prompt response for ~ Inspiration Monday: Man’s First Word

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HEY!

by John Yeo

There was silence in the outer hemispheres of the galaxy for millennia. The elder trolls were unique in the areas of communication throughout the exo-galactic panoply of extraordinary people. Their way of communicating by nonverbal means had been raised to new heights.

On an extraordinary blue planet, life was formed and developed. Asteroids had collided and re-collided. Comets visited; bringing chemicals to permeate a life-giving mix of chemicals giving rise to unique life-forms. Exoplasm mingled and re-mingled again in the hands of the entity that was controlling the flow of matter.

The life forms mixed and remixed, soon a survivor in the likeness of the controller emerged. “Hey!” Thought the controller; “I am almost there!”

Then to his delight, he heard the word. “Hey!” Repeated back to him.

Shocked he silently strained his ultrasonic hearing to the limits.

Then the silence was broken by the familiar sound of his Mother’s voice resonating around the galaxy.

“God! put your toys away! It’s late!”

“Oh; Mother! Please; Can’t I just have another couple of eons?”

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FISHY DISH

Posted on Dec 6, 2016 by John Yeo | Leave a comment

A prompt response to ~ http://thinkwritten.com/category/creative-writing-prompts/

No. 338. Word of the Day: Go to a website that has a word of the day and use it in a poem, story or journal entry you write.

http://daily.wordreference.com/
Basic+ Word of the Day: dish

Image courtesy of Ermilia’s blog on WordPress

FISHY DISH

by John Yeo

The auctioneer’s assistant was gingerly holding up an unusual dish. The dish was lavishly decorated with images of fruit and flowers. Billy the assistant was holding his breath, this was reputed to be an extraordinary piece of work. The illustrations were hand painted and the markings on the base indicated that this piece originated in Russia. The implication was that this dish had been stolen and secretly smuggled into Britain, rumour had it that this incredibly historical dish had once belonged to a girlfriend of Ivan the Terrible, the Tzar of all the Russia’s in the sixteenth century, who had presented a full dinner service to his girlfriend as a gift to win her hand. This exquisite piece of china was a part of that set, the remainder of which was now housed in the famous Hermitage museum in St Petersburg. Billy could feel his hand trembling slightly as this information was passed to the assembled buyers in the auction room.

Right at that moment a man dressed strangely in a Russian Cossack outfit leapt at Billy waving a sword, shouting in broken English:
“This is a bloodstained dish tainted with the blood of creatures consumed by creatures. Bloodstains that will never wash away!”
Billy in a shocked defensive reaction, threw the dish at the approaching swordsman. The dish broke into a million pieces.
The Auctioneer, shocked; dropped his gavel, picked up a gun and shot the menacing intruder dead.
History was made and lay in fragments on the floor.

A PANOPLY OF FOOLS

Posted on Dec 3, 2016 by John Yeo | 2 Comments

PanoplyDaily Prompt on WordPress 3rd December 2016 ~ PANOPLY

Titania and Bottom in a scence from A Midsummer Night’s Dream, by Edwin Landseer. Public domain via Wikimedia Commons –

A PANOPLY OF FOOLS

by John Yeo

It was a rather special afternoon all the members were holding their breath in anticipation. Today was casting day for the local drama society, rumour had it that some extraordinary special guests would be attending the auditions.
The play we would be performing was to be William Shakespeare’s Midsummer Night’s Dream.
I had reluctantly joined the West Chester drama society at the behest of my dear wife Penelope, who is a regular performer. This was to be a first, I have never acted in my life before and I was feeling incredibly nervous about the prospect. I gingerly made myself known to the other members of the group as we entered a local pub, “The Leering Donkey.”

“Hello everyone, I’m Peter, nice to meet you all.” There were several nods and smiles of welcome and approval from the assembled members of the drama group.

I was a bit unnerved, when a tall young man came bustling up and said;
“Hi and welcome I’m Lawrence. Wow! You will be perfect for the role of Nick. Penelope darling! Well done; your husband will be perfect for the role I have in mind.”

“Nick?” I asked, “I don’t remember a character by the name of Nick in Midsummer Nights Dream. I read the play last night at home!”

Lawrence smiled and said, “Don’t worry Peter, the character you have been selected to play has an important role to play! I think you will be perfect for the role of Nick Bottom. A very sought after role indeed!”

“BOTTOM!” I exclaimed: “You mean the character with an Asses head, the bloody fool?”

“Peter this is not just any old fool you will be playing here! Bottom is a very important fool. Out of all the panoply of Shakespeare’s fools Bottom is the finest. I think this role could be the start of a well-revered career: Bottom was one of the leading performers in the Mechanicals. I think you will be perfect for this part. Am I not right Penelope darling?”

“Are you mad? I refuse to get involved with this! Anyway! Who do you think you are calling darling? That’s my wife you are addressing.” I said, becoming quite annoyed by the sly inferences of this toffee-nosed idiot.

“Just a theatrical term lovey. It’s a great pity; Won’t you change your mind? I think you would be perfect for the role; I’m sure you would look exactly right playing the character with an asses head.”

“Bugger off!” I said walking out of the pub.

One month later Lawrence and my wife Penelope had set up home together. I swear if I ever wake up from this horrible dream, I will get my revenge.

SOUL SURGERY

Posted on Dec 2, 2016 by John Yeo | 3 Comments

Image from pixabay.com

A prompt response for ~ Inspiration Monday: Soul Surgeon

http://bekindrewrite.com

SOUL SURGERY

by John Yeo

Jim Greaves was a hard- bitten, been-around retired medical doctor. Jim had reached the age of honorable discharge from the health service and joined the ranks of silver-haired senior citizens.

Retirement didn’t come that easy to Jim, he was no gardener, and the easy life of pints in the pub at lunchtime, with the doubtful, soul-destroying, excitement of daytime television, was beginning to bore him stiff.

When Jim took up golf, on the advice of his GP; Mary his beloved wife of thirty years almost fainted away with relief at the news. Jim had become a bit of a nuisance, hanging around the house all day long and getting under her feet.

“Why don’t you come and join the golf club, Mary?” Jim asked excitedly:

Mary went white at this request, but she quickly recovered to coolly reply, “No thanks, Jim, I will try to catch up with the garden on the days you play golf.”

Peter Danvers, another retired medic and Jim became golfing partners and firm friends. Both men were having difficulty settling into retirement, and when an unusual opportunity came up for some part-time health officers at London airport, both men jumped at the chance.

Life at the airport was full of varied experiences and close contact with people from many parts of the world.

One memorable day, several members of the border patrol force were summoned to a remote part of the airfield to interview and process three strangely dressed individuals. They were bussed to the spot to find a small alien-looking craft surrounded by armed forces.

The first individual, to be interviewed spoke perfect English, with a slight old-style, Anglo-Saxon accent, introduced himself as the leader of the party.

“I am Merlin, we come in peace, from the recently resurfaced island of Atlantis. We are physicians of the inner regions, making good the damage done by polluted thinking and feeling. We come to offer surgery to save the souls of sentient beings.”

“Can I see your papers?” Asked the Chief Security Officer.

At that precise moment, Jim Greaves and Peter Danvers collapsed unconscious on the tarmac. There was a panic as medics were called forward and began desperately trying to revive the two men.

There was a sudden silent liftoff as the three visitors re-boarded their craft in the general melee.

It proved impossible to bring the two men round to normality and they became soulless zombies, confined to a hospital.

Until the day, exactly one year later they came round and related a tale of souls that could travel without the need of a body. The first recorded communication by Jim, was as follows.

“ Bodies age and decay! Life is forever!”

(“If you provide me some wonderfully bizarre prompts Stephanie, the chances are you will read a bizarre response occasionally.”)

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TURNIP AND CHIPS

Posted on Nov 25, 2016 by John Yeo | 2 Comments

Image courtesy of pixabay.com

A prompt response for ~ Inspiration Monday: Vegetable Oppression

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TURNIP AND CHIPS

by John Yeo

“I tell you it’s the Turnips fault; ever since he was voted in with a narrow majority, we have been forced to be openly aggressive to anything and everything. I always used to think it was the Sprouts and Runner Beans that were full of wind. This Turnip fellow has majestic plans to sort out the rest of the allotment and stick strictly to home-grown vegetables in future. No more imports of any description will be allowed in.” The Pumpkin puffed out, as he openly flicked a large slug from attempting to gnaw into him, with a large frond attached to one of his leaves.

A group of Iceberg Lettuces standing in a neat row nodded in agreement in the strong wind, their spokesman addressed the assembly; “Don’t blame us! We voted for the Onion; a good choice: Not exactly a Spring Onion, you understand, but a super experienced Onion. An Onion that knows its Radishes from Beetroot.”

The Pumpkin continued; “The Turnip has promised some incredibly wealthy nutrients, riches beyond our wildest dreams. The powerful fertility from the rear end of some home-grown equines. An economic miracle is on the way.”

“Surely there is no way our economy can function without the cheapness and convenience of the new varieties of F1 interbreeding and Scientifically modified imports.” emphatically stated a venerable Pak Choi.

“No way? Our esteemed Turnip is decidedly against all mass-produced cheap imports and proposes we will function quite successfully with our own homegrown vegetables. The new leader didn’t hesitate to propose a solid wall be erected right around the allotments, preventing entrance by all alien varieties of vegetables.” the Pumpkin went on.

An army of potatoes, smartly dressed in heaped up piles of rich khaki fertiliser stood to attention, awaiting orders from their commanding officers. Always at the ready to be roasted, fried or mashed for the good of the allotment appetites.

Meanwhile grumbles of discontent at the new order were heard among the Carrots and Swedes and several other varieties of vegetables. Particularly certain sections of the Jerusalem Artichokes and Asparagus.

There were also rumbles of discontent among certain self-seeded wild flowers whose seeds had drifted onto the allotments from neighbouring areas. Dissatisfaction was noted with certain inferences and some mysterious patterns of thought as to their place in the future plans of the allotment growth.

Threats of anarchy and revolution were brushed off by the Turnip administration. Peace would certainly require a re-count and possibly a re-seeding of the whole administration to promote new growth and eliminate oppression.

The whole assembly agreed that the well tended allotment site would continue to function successfully regardless of the vegetable at the head of the assembly during the future growing seasons.

FICTION NOTICE
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

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UNDERWATER SKY”

Posted on Jul 23, 2016 by John Yeo | 4 Comments

A prompt response for ~Inspiration Monday: Underwater Sky

http://bekindrewrite.com

Image © John and Margaret

The tide comes in~As a watery dawn appears in the sky~A brick was lobbed in the water~Another fishy asteroid appears

UNDERWATER SKY

by John Yeo

Pikey peeped out from his hideaway in a hole in the riverbank. A hungry Pikey who hadn’t eaten for three days: always on the lookout for an easy meal. When a fly landed on the water above he pounced and missed, dazzled by the magnification of the sun shining on the water from the sky above the river. Hunger pangs were boring holes into the walls of his stomach, it had been three days since he had eaten; a small fish that was already injured and easy prey.

A shadow fell from the watery sky above the river and he darted back into his burrow, a large rock sailed by the entrance and landed with a squelch in the mud at the bottom of the river. Probably another asteroid collision, they seemed to occur with increasing frequency at this time of day. Two laughing young schoolboys walking by the river growing stones in the water were blissfully unaware they were making waves in aquatic science.

Suddenly there was a splash as something entered the water from the underwater sky, Pikey stiffened his dorsal fin, as a fat frog began to swim close to the riverbank. He waited patiently for this edible gift from above to get close enough to allow him to strike. To his dismay, a large white seagull snatched the frog from the water and flew off into the cloudy sky above the river. Pikey entered the reed beds hunting for food as large oval raindrops began to splatter the surface of the river from the now dark watery sky. The sun had disappeared behind the clouds when a fat looking fly settled on the water above once, twice, then again. Pikey was more interested in a school of tiddlers swimming nonchalantly by, he snapped his jaws on three fish at once swallowing them whole.

The fat fly, outlined in the sky above, now clearly visible, drew his attention, he waited for it to settle once again on the surface and he pounced. Pikey bit hard as he felt a sharp object in the corner of his mouth, he twisted and pulled to dislodge this alien object. Meanwhile, he could feel a tug as his whole body was drawn towards the sky above the river. Pikey fought hard, swimming from side to side, desperately trying to get free from the line that was slowly but surely pulling him up towards the underwater sky at the surface of the river. After a massive superfish tug and a headlong dive, there was a snap and with a feeling of joyous relief Pikey swam and swam as far away from that stretch of the river as possible.

Two years later Professor Pikey was addressing a school of student Pikelings with a stern warning to avoid flies that drop in from the underwater sky.

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FAMILY VISIT

Posted on Jul 18, 2016 by John Yeo | Leave a comment

A Prompt Response for Flasher Friday

http://ourwriteside.com/category/prompts/friday-fiction/

Image from the net

FAMILY VISIT

By John Yeo

It was cloudy and windy as the day dawned over Westchester Towers high school. 400 students, children of wealthy, landowners, industrialists, and commoners alike were in various stages of greeting a brand new day.

The manicured school lawn this morning was blighted by the sight of a large camping tent that had appeared from nowhere overnight.

This caused a ripple of concern among the staff and a delegation was soon formed and sent to investigate.

The Headmaster, flanked by his deputy and the PE teacher together with the school janitor approached the tent.

“Headmaster, shouldn’t we call the police?” asked Tim Sampson, his deputy.

“Not yet, we don’t want to alarm the students, and we could be accused of wasting police time if there is a reasonable explanation.” replied the headmaster.

Then with a well-rehearsed, well-honed air of authority, he puffed out his chest and called out.

“Hello, whoever is in there, come out at once!”

There was a silent pause before a strangely familiar voice shouted back,

“Keep away! There is danger here.”

The Headmaster, said “It’s Tom Newton the Science teacher. Whatever does he mean? Stand back, I think he’s gone crazy.”

At that moment, James Jones and his best school pal, Fauntleroy Smythe were sitting on a small stone bridge, tossing stones and twigs into a fast-flowing brook. They had a good view of the mysterious tent and the events that followed.

“Gypsies have moved in, if you ask me, they are everywhere these days. My Dad said they are a pain and should be forced to settle down and pay taxes like everyone else.” Said Fauntleroy.

James smiled and nodded at this remark. “Yes, they’re everywhere! My Great-grandad was a Romany, a traveller who settled down and made a fortune as a scrap metal dealer.”

“Oh! Sorry James, I never knew that; good for him.”

James just grinned and said, “It’s OK Fauntleroy!”

Then he pushed him off the bridge into the stream and watched as a shocked, muddy, sorry-looking individual clambered out of the water and staggered off towards the mysterious tent.

Ignoring the shouts of keep away; from the assembled delegation, Fauntleroy entered.

Suddenly there was a loud bang followed by a terrifying scream. The Science teacher, staggered out carrying the student,

“Call an ambulance!” ordered the headmaster. “ What’s going on Newton?”

“Well Headmaster, I noticed some suspicious looking characters building this tent on the lawn last night. “I approached them, but I was overpowered and held prisoner.

“What was that loud bang?” asked the headmaster, “How did this lad get hurt?”

“I’m not sure Headmaster, I think a car backfired on the road beyond those trees as they fled, this lad screamed and fainted with shock.”

Then with a siren screeching, an ambulance arrived. Two paramedics confirmed that Fauntleroy had fainted with shock and would be fine with some rest.

Meanwhile, James was in conversation with his Great Uncle Louis, who had arrived to visit him, bringing news of the family.

(497 WORDS)

This is my response to a prompt from Our Write Side to their Friday Flasher prompt. A short story in no more than 500 Words using four elements

Place: inside a camping tent
Character: a high school teacher
Object: an ambulance
Weather: windy
Follow this link To comment: Join in and have fun

http://ourwriteside.com/friday-flasher-inside-tent-2/

LIGHTS OUT

Posted on Jul 9, 2016 by John Yeo | Leave a comment

A Prompt Response for Flasher Friday

http://ourwriteside.com/category/prompts/friday-fiction/

Ice Trucker

Images from the net

dance floor

LIGHTS OUT

By John Yeo

Visiting hours strictly between 2pm and 4pm

Sandy switched gears and climbed a slight incline, the snowy terrain was rough and stretched for miles with the edges of the forest in the near distance. The wind was howling as the truck sped along when a blustery gust picked up some loose particles from a bank of snow at the side of the track. At that moment a shadowy figure loomed up in front of the truck, Sandy never hesitated jumping hard on the brakes and clutch, forcing the truck to slide into a long skid, narrowly avoiding a large elk that was ambling along the road. The truck skidded forward, and came to a halt as Sandy re-assumed control; then the radio burst into life,

“Base here, come in 45. Base to 45, over, are you there Sandy?”

“Yup! What is it?”

“How long before you get here?” Came the tinny voice of the controller.

“About 45 minutes,” Sandy replied.

“Good! We will all meet up at the usual Saturday evening place!”

“OK!” Sandy replied grinning from ear to ear. “I’m looking forward to that!”

Please ring the bell to alert the staff before entering.

Sandy parked the truck in a lot and went to her home to change to go to the Saturday night dance.

Sandy looked stunning in a full-length blue gown with a turquoise necklace and earrings to match.

Heading for the cloakroom when she reached the bright lights of the dance hall, she suddenly realized she had picked up the wrong bag. The cloakroom attendant came to her rescue with the loan of a hairbrush.

Just then the orchestra began playing a quickstep and the dance floor filled with dancers, a big man, wearing a smart black suit with a red bow tie approached her and asked for a dance. Sandy smiled and got up, and soon they were moving around the dance floor in time to the music.

“I’m Joe! Pleased to meet you, I’m new here. What’s your name?”

“My name’s Sandy, nice to meet you too. You are light on your feet, are you a professional dancer?”

Whirling around the floor without a care in the world, both partners were soon overcome by the seductive dance music and with each other. A foxtrot followed a waltz, and Sandy was soon entranced by the magic of the moment.

A little later Joe, suddenly left Sandy on the dance floor and wrestled a man to the floor.

“He was stealing your bag, Sandy,” handing her a large cloth bag he had retrieved.

“Thanks, Joe, it’s only a bag of wool, I bought the wrong bag out!”

Grandma clutched her knitting needles and sat in the corner of the lounge Dreamily watching television, Strictly Come Dancing, and an episode of Ice Truckers was vying for her attention before the nurse came in with her afternoon tea.

Lights out at exactly 9pm.

This is my response to a prompt from Our Write Side to their Friday Flasher prompt. A short story in no more than 500 Words using four elements

Place: on a dance floor
Character: an ice trucker
Object: a bag of wool
Weather: blustery

Follow this link To comment: Join in and have fun

http://ourwriteside.com/friday-flasher-dance-floor/

Friday Flasher

CLASSICAL GARBAGE

Posted on Jun 10, 2016 by John Yeo | 1 Comment

A PURELY FICTIONAL prompt response for ~Inspiration Monday: CLASSICAL GARBAGE:

A prompt response for ~Inspiration Monday: Classical Garbage

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CLASSICAL GARBAGE

by John Yeo

Mind to mind communication had arrived! Prater collected all his gems of high Philosophy from the aether, a secret translucent medium that allowed concepts and ideas to be transferred from mind to mind, and person to person, without the need of papyrus or parchment. Known only to a few members of the higher inner circle, this secret was kept close to the hearts of the chosen few. The higher thinking was that if the aether medium was open to all and sundry, a certain, quite high, percentage of world knowledge, would be contaminated by the everyday dross that passes through the average mind under the guise of pure thought. The inner circle were the most arrogant, supercilious, patronising group of people, that has trod the earth, since the dinosaurs ruled the world.

Many students barred from entrance to the thought patterns of this inner circle of minds, would follow this elite gathering of intellectuals, who became known colloquially as Prates, in honour of the founder and high-minded Prater, who discovered the magic of the effects of the mysterious aether.

Time passed and many of the lesser Prates, would follow the inner circle of closed minds around, writing and gleaning every word that dripped, amid the saliva that exuded, from the mighty mouths. Quite soon a huge body of writings and fantastic verbiage was amassed, and became generally known as the philosophical quantum mass of unsorted verbal diarrhea.

One disastrous day as the inner circle were meeting to exchange thought-processes in the closed cavern of the rock-adversity, a huge volcanic eruption exploded and wiped out the inner circle completely.

Thus was the final loss of the mysterious aether and the accumulated wisdom of the ancients. The lesser Prates then produced their enormous volumes of accumulated verbiage and during a lesser eclipse of the third sun, piled every manuscript into an enormous heap and set fire to it, destroying every last word.

A far-sighted seer from the interior of the continent of Africa, suddenly appeared on the scene, declaring. “Let’s start the whole thing all over again!”

Then began the millennium of peace and sharing of wisdom between all the differing mystical scientific communities around the world.

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DOUBLE VELVET

Posted on Jun 7, 2016 by John Yeo | 2 Comments

Smooth
Daily Prompt on WordPress ~ 5th June 2016 ~ DOUBLE VELVET

Prompt for the day on WORDPRESS ~ ‘SMOOTH’

The Daily Post

DOUBLE VELVET

by John Yeo

Robin was leaning against the bar, relating his meeting and his experience, with Mellita Mann a well known rising star of film and television.

“Self assured and sophisticated, a social siren. Queen of all she surveyed, I tell you this is so unlike her.”

Raving madly about the lady he had bumped into in his local supermarket, Robin sounded, shocked, surprised and visibly shaken.

“Her hair was in curlers, she had no makeup on, and she was rude, pushy and rude. I would never have believed it, if I hadn’t seen it myself! She actually stole something, picked it up from the shelf and put it right into her pocket!” Robin went on.

“I have seen her acting on television, I feel as if I know her intimately. There she was looking like a scruffy scarecrow, stealing from the supermarket. I called out loudly, ‘Stop thief!’ Then I was manhandled and pushed away by this Gorilla of a man, who swore at me several times and told me to get lost. The police then arrived, and I was threatened with arrest, for a breach of the peace. I asked to speak to the manager to report the theft of the property, but I was stunned when the manager suddenly burst out laughing, the Police officer was also smiling. Then a tall smartly dressed man stepped forward, his next words took me totally by surprise.”

“We are in the middle of filming an anti-theft short film here. Please accept our apologies for your embarrassing, worthy reaction, we would like you to accept this money to go some way to smoothing over this unfortunate situation!” I am Henry Hills, the director.

Robin grimaced, made appropriate shocked remarks, reflecting his hurt feelings at this unforeseen embarrassment, and left with, £1000.00 in cash.

Later he would be found in the local bar drowning his well smoothed feelings with a velvety smooth Guinness, having passed on £500.00 to his daughter, who worked in the store.

Life’s like that!

The Daily Post

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HEY!

There was silence in the outer hemispheres of the galaxy for millennia. The elder trolls were unique in the areas of communication throughout the exo-galactic panoply of extraordinary people. Their way of communicating by nonverbal means had been raised to new heights.

The life forms mixed and remixed, soon a survivor in the likeness of the controller emerged. “Hey!” Thought the controller; “I am almost there!”

Then to his delight, he heard the word. “Hey!” Repeated back to him.

Shocked he silently strained his ultrasonic hearing to the limits.

Then the silence was broken by the familiar sound of his Mother’s voice resonating around the galaxy.

“God! put your toys away! It’s late!”

“Oh; Mother! Please; Can’t I just have another couple of eons?”

FISHY DISH

by John Yeo

A PANOPLY OF FOOLS

“Hello everyone, I’m Peter, nice to meet you all.” There were several nods and smiles of welcome and approval from the assembled members of the drama group.

I was a bit unnerved, when a tall young man came bustling up and said; “Hi and welcome I’m Lawrence. Wow! You will be perfect for the role of Nick. Penelope darling! Well done; your husband will be perfect for the role I have in mind.”

“Nick?” I asked, “I don’t remember a character by the name of Nick in Midsummer Nights Dream. I read the play last night at home!”

Lawrence smiled and said, “Don’t worry Peter, the character you have been selected to play has an important role to play! I think you will be perfect for the role of Nick Bottom. A very sought after role indeed!”

“BOTTOM!” I exclaimed: “You mean the character with an Asses head, the bloody fool?”

“Are you mad? I refuse to get involved with this! Anyway! Who do you think you are calling darling? That’s my wife you are addressing.” I said, becoming quite annoyed by the sly inferences of this toffee-nosed idiot.

“Just a theatrical term lovey. It’s a great pity; Won’t you change your mind? I think you would be perfect for the role; I’m sure you would look exactly right playing the character with an asses head.”

“Bugger off!” I said walking out of the pub.

One month later Lawrence and my wife Penelope had set up home together. I swear if I ever wake up from this horrible dream, I will get my revenge.

SOUL SURGERY

Jim Greaves was a hard- bitten, been-around retired medical doctor. Jim had reached the age of honorable discharge from the health service and joined the ranks of silver-haired senior citizens.

Retirement didn’t come that easy to Jim, he was no gardener, and the easy life of pints in the pub at lunchtime, with the doubtful, soul-destroying, excitement of daytime television, was beginning to bore him stiff.

When Jim took up golf, on the advice of his GP; Mary his beloved wife of thirty years almost fainted away with relief at the news. Jim had become a bit of a nuisance, hanging around the house all day long and getting under her feet.

“Why don’t you come and join the golf club, Mary?” Jim asked excitedly:

Mary went white at this request, but she quickly recovered to coolly reply, “No thanks, Jim, I will try to catch up with the garden on the days you play golf.”

Peter Danvers, another retired medic and Jim became golfing partners and firm friends. Both men were having difficulty settling into retirement, and when an unusual opportunity came up for some part-time health officers at London airport, both men jumped at the chance.

Life at the airport was full of varied experiences and close contact with people from many parts of the world.

One memorable day, several members of the border patrol force were summoned to a remote part of the airfield to interview and process three strangely dressed individuals. They were bussed to the spot to find a small alien-looking craft surrounded by armed forces.

The first individual, to be interviewed spoke perfect English, with a slight old-style, Anglo-Saxon accent, introduced himself as the leader of the party.

“I am Merlin, we come in peace, from the recently resurfaced island of Atlantis. We are physicians of the inner regions, making good the damage done by polluted thinking and feeling. We come to offer surgery to save the souls of sentient beings.”

“Can I see your papers?” Asked the Chief Security Officer.

At that precise moment, Jim Greaves and Peter Danvers collapsed unconscious on the tarmac. There was a panic as medics were called forward and began desperately trying to revive the two men.

There was a sudden silent liftoff as the three visitors re-boarded their craft in the general melee.

It proved impossible to bring the two men round to normality and they became soulless zombies, confined to a hospital.

Until the day, exactly one year later they came round and related a tale of souls that could travel without the need of a body. The first recorded communication by Jim, was as follows.

“ Bodies age and decay! Life is forever!”

TURNIP AND CHIPS

The Pumpkin continued; “The Turnip has promised some incredibly wealthy nutrients, riches beyond our wildest dreams. The powerful fertility from the rear end of some home-grown equines. An economic miracle is on the way.”

“Surely there is no way our economy can function without the cheapness and convenience of the new varieties of F1 interbreeding and Scientifically modified imports.” emphatically stated a venerable Pak Choi.

An army of potatoes, smartly dressed in heaped up piles of rich khaki fertiliser stood to attention, awaiting orders from their commanding officers. Always at the ready to be roasted, fried or mashed for the good of the allotment appetites.

Meanwhile grumbles of discontent at the new order were heard among the Carrots and Swedes and several other varieties of vegetables. Particularly certain sections of the Jerusalem Artichokes and Asparagus.

There were also rumbles of discontent among certain self-seeded wild flowers whose seeds had drifted onto the allotments from neighbouring areas. Dissatisfaction was noted with certain inferences and some mysterious patterns of thought as to their place in the future plans of the allotment growth.

Threats of anarchy and revolution were brushed off by the Turnip administration. Peace would certainly require a re-count and possibly a re-seeding of the whole administration to promote new growth and eliminate oppression.

The whole assembly agreed that the well tended allotment site would continue to function successfully regardless of the vegetable at the head of the assembly during the future growing seasons.

UNDERWATER SKY

Two years later Professor Pikey was addressing a school of student Pikelings with a stern warning to avoid flies that drop in from the underwater sky.

FAMILY VISIT

It was cloudy and windy as the day dawned over Westchester Towers high school. 400 students, children of wealthy, landowners, industrialists, and commoners alike were in various stages of greeting a brand new day.

The manicured school lawn this morning was blighted by the sight of a large camping tent that had appeared from nowhere overnight.

This caused a ripple of concern among the staff and a delegation was soon formed and sent to investigate.

The Headmaster, flanked by his deputy and the PE teacher together with the school janitor approached the tent.

“Headmaster, shouldn’t we call the police?” asked Tim Sampson, his deputy.

“Not yet, we don’t want to alarm the students, and we could be accused of wasting police time if there is a reasonable explanation.” replied the headmaster.

Then with a well-rehearsed, well-honed air of authority, he puffed out his chest and called out.

“Hello, whoever is in there, come out at once!”

There was a silent pause before a strangely familiar voice shouted back,

“Keep away! There is danger here.”

The Headmaster, said “It’s Tom Newton the Science teacher. Whatever does he mean? Stand back, I think he’s gone crazy.”

At that moment, James Jones and his best school pal, Fauntleroy Smythe were sitting on a small stone bridge, tossing stones and twigs into a fast-flowing brook. They had a good view of the mysterious tent and the events that followed.

“Gypsies have moved in, if you ask me, they are everywhere these days. My Dad said they are a pain and should be forced to settle down and pay taxes like everyone else.” Said Fauntleroy.

James smiled and nodded at this remark. “Yes, they’re everywhere! My Great-grandad was a Romany, a traveller who settled down and made a fortune as a scrap metal dealer.”

“Oh! Sorry James, I never knew that; good for him.”

James just grinned and said, “It’s OK Fauntleroy!”

Then he pushed him off the bridge into the stream and watched as a shocked, muddy, sorry-looking individual clambered out of the water and staggered off towards the mysterious tent.

Ignoring the shouts of keep away; from the assembled delegation, Fauntleroy entered.

Suddenly there was a loud bang followed by a terrifying scream. The Science teacher, staggered out carrying the student,

“Call an ambulance!” ordered the headmaster. “ What’s going on Newton?”

“Well Headmaster, I noticed some suspicious looking characters building this tent on the lawn last night. “I approached them, but I was overpowered and held prisoner.

“What was that loud bang?” asked the headmaster, “How did this lad get hurt?”

“I’m not sure Headmaster, I think a car backfired on the road beyond those trees as they fled, this lad screamed and fainted with shock.”

Then with a siren screeching, an ambulance arrived. Two paramedics confirmed that Fauntleroy had fainted with shock and would be fine with some rest. Meanwhile, James was in conversation with his Great Uncle Louis, who had arrived to visit him, bringing news of the family.

LIGHTS OUT

Visiting hours strictly between 2pm and 4pm

“Base here, come in 45. Base to 45, over, are you there Sandy?”

“Yup! What is it?”

“How long before you get here?” Came the tinny voice of the controller.

“About 45 minutes,” Sandy replied.

“Good! We will all meet up at the usual Saturday evening place!”

“OK!” Sandy replied grinning from ear to ear. “I’m looking forward to that!”

I was a bit unnerved, when a tall young man came bustling up and said;
“Hi and welcome I’m Lawrence. Wow! You will be perfect for the role of Nick. Penelope darling! Well done; your husband will be perfect for the role I have in mind.”

Then with a siren screeching, an ambulance arrived. Two paramedics confirmed that Fauntleroy had fainted with shock and would be fine with some rest.

Meanwhile, James was in conversation with his Great Uncle Louis, who had arrived to visit him, bringing news of the family.