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A prompt response for INSPIRATION MONDAY ~ “THE SNARK AGES”

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A prompt response for Inspiration Monday: “The Snark Ages”

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THE SNARK AGES

by John Yeo

   Today I am going to steal something from you my patient readers on a timescale of microseconds this will feel painful. Each microsecond will be as valuable as each of the preceding microsecond, an infinity of time to the little known elusive impossible snark.

  Our story begins with a puzzle, when a For Sale sign was removed from a suburban house.

  A little later, the dustmen started to remove the rubbish from the side of the house.

 

  Rumour had it that the house was sold to a mysterious couple, who the estate agent never actually met, the house was purchased by an agent acting on their behalf, who professed never to have met his clients. The owners moved in, in the dead of night, and no one saw them arrive.

   The only clue they were there, was when the dustmen collected the trash.

 

  The couple settled into the neighbourhood very well, or so they thought, but strangely they had no contact with the people on either side of their house. The people on the block never saw a sign of them, not even a hide or hair of them, not a whisker. The full dustbins were always removed then re-filled again by the unseen mysterious occupants.

 

   The curtains were always firmly closed but no-one ever saw any of the occupants. One day Bronson Williams and his wife Louise tapped nervously on the door to introduce themselves and make them feel welcome. No response, Louise left the flowers she was carrying on the doorstep and  they gave up and went home. Three days later the flowers were still there and the dustmen came and emptied the bin, with no response from within.

 

    Charlie and Cherise on the other side of the mysterious house, then tried to get a response from the back door, Charlie banged loudly without success, there was no response. The blinds were tightly drawn and Cherise tried to peep inside without success, the place seemed to be quite deserted, they left the flowers they had brought on the back doorstep and returned home.  There was a bouquet of rotting blooms on the front doorstep. Three days later the flowers were still there when the dustmen came and emptied the trash.

 

    Four days later a For Sale sign went up and several people were shown around the house by an agent. The owners were nowhere to be seen, eventually the house was sold and a young couple moved in, the neighbourhood breathed a sigh of relief as a sense of normality returned.

   The refuse began to be collected again. There was no forwarding address for the occupants as there was nothing to forward.

 

   The culmination of this mysterious tale lies in the microseconds it needed to read it. Each microsecond added to another microsecond eventually becomes infinity. This is known as the elusive mysterious, snark ages.

  At the beginning of this tale of decaying refuse, I mentioned I would be stealing something from you my greatly esteemed reader. I have stolen at least five minutes of your precious time.

   To the average well read snark, this will feel like ages.

  I am sure the refuse will eventually be collected when the dustmen return to work from their strike.

Copyright © Written by John Yeo ~ All rights reserved

A prompt response for INSPIRATION MONDAY ~ “PORTABLE NIGHT”

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A prompt response for Inspiration Monday: “Portable Night”

PORTABLE NIGHT

by John Yeo

     “Mummy, you really mean we are going to see Aunty Sheila and my cousins down there!” Exclaimed Ruthie, pointing to the toy globe, and spinning it around. “How will we get from here to there?” she asked.

   “Yes darling, we will be going by aeroplane of course, flying from one side of the world to another.” replied her Mum.

  “Mummy, Daddy says they are all upside down over there. Our daytime is their night. how will we sleep?”

  “We will adjust Ruthie, we will have to try to sleep in our daytime here and their night-time there!”

   “What about the bogeymen that only come out at night? Will they be around in the daytime there?” asked Ruthie

   “Ahh! That’s a difficult question darling, bogeymen come in all shapes and sizes, even here at home we have nasty bogeymen that are about in the daytime!”

  “Mummy, stop it! I know when you are joking, you always smile and crinkle your eyes up.”

   “Yes Ruthie, now go to sleep! We have a long journey tomorrow.”

  The next day the family took their seats on a Qantas  Airbus and were soon tucking into some tempting airline food, Ruthie was very excited. “Daddy what time is it there now?”

   “About 9 o’clock at night, they are about 10 hours in front of us over there. You would be in bed there now.”

Soon the friendly aircrew came around to make sure everybody was comfortable, and asked for all the windows to be blacked out. Ruthie was  curious about this as the sun was shining and it was still daytime outside. “Mummy why is everybody sleeping in the middle of the day?”

“Shush darling, people are sleeping, we have to try to sleep now, to catch up with the time where we’re going. The curtains turn our day into a portable night, so we can reset our body-clocks.”

 “Daddy, Where is my body-clock?”

“Shush please!” Came an irate voice from an elderly gentleman in the row behind. “People are trying to sleep. Please be quiet, or I will call the steward!”

  “Mummy, is that what you mean by a day-time bogeyman”

  “Hush Ruthie!” Said her Mother suppressing a broad grin.

Copyright © Written by John Yeo ~ All rights reserved

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A prompt response for INSPIRATION MONDAY ~ “CATASTROPHIC SUCCESS ”

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A prompt response for Inspiration Monday: “Ground Control”

CATASTROPHIC SUCCESS

by John Yeo

   “Bill and Bella have won the lottery!” said Robin enthusiastically to his wife.

 ”What’s that darling? You’re joking! Really how much did they win, I must catch up with Bella. Do you know, she’s my oldest friend, but I haven’t heard from her for months.”

 “I’m not exactly sure how much, Sarah my love. I must try to get hold of Bill too, we were on the golf club committee together, maybe he will have won enough to see his way clear to funding a new clubhouse.”

Sarah smiled as she bent down and patted a passing dog that was on a long lead, “Hello Rexie, good girl, there’s a good doggie, sorry I haven’t got any chocolate today. Hello, Mrs. Perkins! Have you heard the news? Bill and Bella have won the lottery this week.”

 “Have they really Mrs. Edwards, how much did they win? I’m on my way to the church, the Vicar was asking after them last Sunday. I’m sure they will make a substantial donation towards the fund for a new church roof, now they are wealthy.”

“Well Mrs Perkins, I don’t know how wealthy they are, but old Ted, the gardener distinctly overheard Bill say to Bella on his mobile, we’ve won the lottery!”

  “Hello you two!” A tall slim man approached smiling broadly. “I expect you have heard the news, we have two winners in the community, it’s all over the village. Bill and Bella are always saying how the school needs more IT equipment. I am on my way to see them now, I am sure they will make a substantial donation.” Mr Saunders the headmaster, had kept the local school going for years, Bill and Bella were both ex students. “Have you heard how much they have won?”

“No Mr Saunders, no-one seems to know, I expect they asked for no publicity, you can’t be too careful these days.” replied Mrs Edwards.

“That hypocrite who lives at the end of the village, you know, the one who hates kids walking by his house, always running down Bill and Bella’s kids to all and sundry, wants to organise a surprise party down at the pub for the lucky winners. Money does have some strange effects on people.”

David the local postman rode by on his cycle and called out. “There is a traffic jam in the village apparently someone has won the lottery. Who phoned the press? I can’t get through to deliver the mail!,”

Suddenly a police siren sounded, cutting into the normal peaceful calm of the village.

   Mrs. Potts a matronly lady dashed up to the villagers and said, “Someone has been spreading false rumours about Bill and Bella winning the lottery. Well they only won £25.00 for matching three numbers, chaos has erupted, beggars have come from miles around.”

There was a deafening silence as this astonishing news sunk in among the assembled villagers.

“The good news is, old sourpuss has paid for a surprise party tonight and everyone is invited.”

First a few silent grins, then a snicker and several chuckles, with loud laughter that developed into side-splitting roars of mirth, resounded among the villagers.

Six months later, Bill and Bella quietly sold their house and left the village, never to be seen again. Old sourpuss often wondered about that!

   Especially when some workmen arrived to put a new roof on the church, the golf club opened a new club-house and the local school was completely fitted out with new IT equipment. All down to funds provided by lottery grants everyone said.

Copyright © Written by John Yeo ~ All rights reserved.

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A prompt response for INSPIRATION MONDAY ~ “GROUND CONTROL”

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A prompt response for Inspiration Monday: “Ground Control”

ENCLOSURE

by John Yeo

 “I used to be able to walk for miles through grassy fields, just enjoying the seasons turning around in the perennial cycle of life, death and birth. Wildlife was prolific in those days, the hedgerows would be full of birdsong and interesting little rustles and sounds of scampering and scurrying little feet. I would take a pen and a notebook to record my thoughts, sometimes a piece of poetry would seep into a corner of my mind and I would hastily sit on the grass and put pen to paper. There were times I would sit and sketch  Many a time, I have been caught in a storm and hastened to the nearest hedgerow and dived beneath the bushes and elderberry trees seeking shelter. Mostly I remember sunny days, cloudless blue skies, and perennial wildflowers everywhere. Life drifted on smoothly, with the peace to ramble the fields and think alone.

Then came men with guns, and fences appeared, with signs that warned. ‘Private Property. No Trespassing, Keep Out.” Life became restricted to tiny pathways of muddy footpaths sometimes overgrown and impassable. The times had changed and brought Ground Control with fenced enclosure.”

“ Yes Mr Robinson, now try to rest before ward rounds and the doctor arrives.”  A busy nurse bustled in and tidied up his bed.

“Now I have this harsh dementia and my short-term memory is gone, at least I can stroll  those bygone lanes again in my mind, Nurse.”

   “Yes Mr Robinson, try to rest now.”

 “I feel as if my mind is fenced and restricted, I can no longer freely think and enjoy the world of now, I am restricted to tiny foggy footpaths of memory, sometimes overgrown and impassable. I feel I am grounded, not in control, fenced in by the evil of dementia.”

“Yes Mr Robinson, do you need the commode now?”

 “No thanks nurse, I think I will sleep for a while.

 

Copyright © Written by John Yeo ~All rights reserved. 

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A prompt response for “INSPIRATION MONDAY ~THE CRATER WAKENING

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A prompt response for Inspiration Monday: “Crater Awakening”

THE ERUPTION

by John Yeo

    It was the swinging sixties everything was possible, life was exciting and definitely for living. James, Ruth, and Marg, were inseparable, they got through college together, gaining very high grades. The three friends were from the suburbs of London, the area in Surrey known as the Stockbroker belt. All three friends had the same interests and had unanimously decided to study geology at University.

  It was Marg’s idea to take a gap year first, Marg had no trouble persuading her Father to fund her adventure. Marg had always been Daddy’s little girl.

  “Dad, I want to go to Costa Rica to see the volcanic crater Iratsu, to give me a basic knowledge before I study to become a volcanologist.”

    “Will you be going alone?” asked her father cautiously.

 “No Dad, I hope not, Ruth is asking her parents, and James is certain to be going.  I am sure he will, He has a substantial allowance and he will be paying his own way.”

   “I have no objections, if you are all going together.” said her father.

  Six months later found the three friends staying in a hotel in San Jose, just 24 kilometres from the volcano, they had purchased camping equipment and began trekking through the stunning rainforest towards their goal. The green cultivated fields leading to the rim of the crater were a beautiful fertile introduction to the stunning beauty that was to come. When they reached their goal the beauty was mind blowing.  

     Ruth was stunned, “Look at the pool in the crater and the vegetation!”

  There was an ominous rumble, almost on cue. “Wow!”  exclaimed James. ”I wonder if we are going to witness an eruption? That hotel manager did warn us that the volcano has been rumbling lately!”

  Ruth was warily dismissive when she replied, “ Yes! He also said there have been rumbles for quite some time.”

There followed another rumble from the depths of the crater and a distinct tremor, as the three friends took in the astonishing beauty of this volcanic crater.

    Marg then broke in and said. “I think we had better get away from here fast. Let’s head back to San Jose! I have an idea we should be somewhere safe for the time being.”

 Another rumble and a tremor sent the friends packing up fast and heading towards one of the farms on the rim of the crater. A surprised farmer, who didn’t speak English, was persuaded to give the three friends a lift into the city, after accepting a wad of money.

   “I always knew money talked.” James said, grinning all over his face as they sat on the back of a battered truck, that found every bump on the road.

    A couple of days later there was a series of huge explosions that hurled out much ash, rocks, and debris, but the activity soon settled down to alternating periods of explosive eruptions and a quiet emission of steam. Ash was deposited mostly along an area that extended westward from the summit to and beyond the city of San Jose, 24 km away. The prolonged ash-fall severely damaged dairy, vegetable, and coffee farms, and for a while made daily life in the city extremely difficult. There was a telegram summoning Marg home immediately, from her father, who had been following their progress from the beginning, using the limited information released by the media. A year later the friends were studying together at University, relating their experiences to all their new interested friends, fellow students and lecturers. 

    Ten years later, James and Ruth, now married, visited Iratsu again. The wind and volcanic activity conspired to give the effect of a moonscape. There were several craters rimmed by gnarled, scorched trees, lined with brilliantly coloured rain-fed mineral pools. The area surrounding its four craters was barren and rocky, a result of its last eruptive cycle.

They were stunned at the realisation they had been present, almost on the day the crater woke up.

Copyright © Written by John Yeo ~ All rights reserved.

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A prompt response for “INSPIRATION MONDAY ~UNKNOWN SENDER

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A prompt response for Inspiration Monday: “Leap to a Beginning”

UNKNOWN SENDER

by John Yeo

     “Where did that come from?” Asked, Minnie Mills, when she entered the post-office and handed in the card that had been pushed through her door by the postman.

    Elizabeth, the very experienced counter-clerk, scratched her head in curiosity. “We never know.  Are you sure you don’t recognise the handwriting? There doesn’t seem to be a visible postmark on the wrapper, it’s all smudged.” Elizabeth had worked in the village post office for twenty years and she knew everyone intimately, she was always very helpful, and rather nosey when it came to other people’s post.

     “I wonder what it can be, I am not expecting anything and I have never seen that writing before. I have heard there are some dangerous people around who send out letter bombs and parcel bombs, to all and sundry.” Minnie exclaimed with a slight tremor of her normally stiff upper lip. Minnie had just turned 83 years old, the week before, but her mind was very sharp from reading the newspapers and watching television.

    Elizabeth smiled in disbelief. “No! Mrs Mills, I don’t think so. Who on earth would want to send a bomb to you? I can call the manager if you like, but I don’t know what he can do. I expect he will call the police, who will then call in the bomb squad.”

    Charlie Jones the local odd job man was standing next in the queue, “Come on! Hurry up! I have work to do. Will you get a move on, I will take it outside and open it up if you like!”

   “No thank-you very much!” Exclaimed Minnie Mills. “I don’t want your death on my conscience.”

 Elizabeth gave him one of her special warning looks, and pressed the bell for the manager, who was in the office at the back of the shop doing his books. Bill Green had been managing this little village office for a couple of years now, having moved from the big city to enjoy life in the country with his family.

     “Can I help you?” Bill asked the odd job man, then sold him a first class stamp and showed him the door.

 Elizabeth rapidly explained the situation to the astonished manager.

     “Well, there is a procedure to follow when we encounter a suspicious package. I have a special number to ring for instructions. Don’t do a thing until I come back.” He rushed into his office to make the call.

  He returned in a couple of minutes and announced, “Help is on the way, meanwhile we must put the package in a bucket of water and take it outside, far away from the post office.”

 A short time later an unusual looking van arrived with strange aerials on the top and headed straight for the bucket. Some minutes later an army officer entered the post office.

    “There is no cause for alarm, this is definitely not an explosive device. We have x-rayed it and we ran a metal detector over it, and there is nothing metallic inside.” He reported, then drove off to another investigation.

  Elizabeth, the counter clerk was very curious, and when everyone had gone, she urged Minnie to open the parcel. “Go on, open it now in case I can help you.”

   Minnie gave her an old fashioned look, then said, “No I will take it home now.”

  When she got home she gingerly unwrapped her package to discover a rubber Hot-Water Bottle, donated by Age Concern to keep her warm in the winter.

Ahh! That’s nice of them she thought, smiling to herself.

Copyright © Written by John Yeo ~ All rights reserved

A prompt response for “INSPIRATION MONDAY ~ BOXING

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A prompt response for Inspiration Monday: “Leap to a Beginning”

BOXING

by John Yeo

   Jim always walked to the town through the farmer’s fields He loved to watch the seasons change and drift along. The county of Kent is popularly known as the garden of England. The sky was blue, the sun was shining, it was a glorious Spring day. Jim always took his faithful dog Rover along with him for company.
   This was to be an unforgettable day for both of them, Rover was busy chasing rabbits and sniffing around the dried-up cow pats exploring the interesting smells. When suddenly the dog rushed forward, barking furiously at a very large, unusual creature that seemed to have appeared from nowhere. Jim couldn’t believe what he was seeing, he rubbed his eyes in total disbelief, in front of him was a very large Australian Kangaroo, that bounded directly towards Rover, his ears pulled back and his large long tail dragging along behind him. Rover changed his bark from an aggressive loud noise to a frightened whimper as he turned tail and fled. Jim stood his ground and looked the unusual creature straight in the eyes.
     ”Hallo! where have you suddenly appeared from? You are a very long way from home.”
  The Kangaroo suddenly reared up on his hind legs and assumed an aggressive boxing stance. Jim instantly turned and fled in alarm with the large creature leaping and bounding along behind him. Jim was stopped in his tracks by a six foot high hedge, one look behind at the aggressive Kangaroo and Jim leapt over the fence into a field of cattle, Rover wriggled through a gap in the fence and followed.
    A huge Bull bellowed at this intrusion into his private space, and started charging across the field towards Jim with his head down, just as the Kangaroo came flying over the hedge. The two creatures took one look at each other and fled in opposite directions.
   Jim climbed a tree and watched, as three tractors appeared and drove the Kangaroo towards a large lorry marked in bright letters Circus. The drivers were laughing and enjoying the spectacle immensley. Someone had telephoned the local papers and a large crowd had gathered and witnessed Jim’s amazing leap to freedom. Jim soon became something of a local celebrity, and was wined and dined as his leap to freedom, became the leap to a beginning of many after-dinner speaking engagements.

Copyright © Written by John Yeo ~ All rights reserved.

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A prompt response for “INSPIRATION MONDAY:” ACCIDENTAL GIFT

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ACCIDENTAL GIFT

by John Yeo

      Sally-Anne was always adamant that she would get her way, and she used every trick in her extensive repertoire of ploys, to engineer the result she wanted. Living the life of a picture-book that portrayed exactly the front she wanted the world to see, the world became her plaything.
 One sad day she was confined to the house with a severe lurgy, this dreaded lurgy kept her housebound and inactive for several months.
   Her doctor was at his wits end, trying to find the right combination of medication to counteract the infernal symptoms, but sadly, sharp-tongued Sally-Anne, didn’t respond to anything he prescribed.
         “Mrs. Wood,” he began, one memorable day, “I would like to try something really new; a revolutionary new treatment for this unusual variety of the dreaded lurgy, that we are battling against here.”
        “Yes please Doctor, anything to get my health and strength back again, my family are having to cope with my persistent problems.”
  Several days later she found herself on an operating-table, undergoing surgery performed by the world famous brain surgeon James Steele.
   The atmosphere could have been sliced with the proverbial butter knife! The manipulative madam had many underlying issues to contend with. Since heaven knows when, the problems with her ever-moving, ever mindful, reviewing and mistaken interpretation of many mundane issues had sadly overtaken the reality of her existence. Sally-Anne was a bright young woman who under normal circumstances would have gone a long way in life.
  The surgery was an incredible success and Sally-Anne became a well-respected, well-liked member of her community.
    Then one fateful day, her son started violin lessons at school and brought his instrument home to practice. Sally Anne was delighted and so proud of him.
   A few hours later, Sally-Anne idly picked the violin up and to her amazement, it felt familiar, as if it was an old friend. She began playing the most beautiful music, drawing her neighbours and people from the street to stop and listen.
     Word quickly spread around, and Sally-Anne eventually became a famous well loved violinist, respected the whole world over.
    The scientific community were incredulous and after much discussion it was decided that this was a wonderful accidental gift, an accidental side effect of her recent brain surgery.

Copyright © Written by John Yeo ~ All rights reserved.

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A prompt response for “INSPIRATION MONDAY:” ~ NETHERDOOR

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NETHERDOOR

by John Yeo

Billy coughed and spluttered as he shouted with glee. “It’s true, unbelievably true. Google doesn’t know!”

“Google doesn’t know!” Betty laughed, “Impossible, Google knows everything, I rely on Google a lot!”

“Google has no response to Netherdoor. I wanted to find out about Netherdoor before we make the trip. Where we are going, the brochure clearly says to go through Netherdoor, and take the magical mystery tour of Netherworld.” Billy was absolutely flummoxed and amazed at this fact.

“Oh! Come on Billy! Google knows everything: Are you sure you typed the words in correctly?” Betty was astonished. “What did they come up with?” She trusted in Google implicitly.

Billy smiled as he said.. “All sorts of irrelevant, nonsensical advertising, for books and games, based on the medieval meaning of the Netherworld, as the underworld or hell. No guidebooks for the real magical Netherworld behind the Netherdoor. Google hasn’t got a clue about the world on the other side of the real Netherdoor.”

Betty asked Billy for the brochure, to check the spelling as she still firmly believed in the limitless power of the knowledge available through Google.

“The brochure?” Billy giggled, amused at her reaction to the fallibility of the powerful search engine. “I thought you had the brochure, don’t tell me the brochure has vanished!”

Betty looked bemused as she started to hunt everywhere for the missing brochure. “It is here somewhere Billy. I know for certain I saw it. Are you sure you haven’t got it? How can we go if we don’t know where the Netherdoor to the Netherworld is located. Shall I ask Google where it is again?” Betty grabbed her iPad and keyed in Netherdoor again.

Suddenly a metallic voice asked “How can I help you?” Betty was startled, she had forgotten Google had learned to talk. Quickly she recovered and explained the situation. “I’m sorry I didn’t get that!”

Betty was shocked. Google is fallible! “What are we going to do Billy? We are on our own, we will have to find the brochure.”

Billy nodded and agreed, as he asked, “Where is the brochure?”

“OK!” said Billy, with a twinkle in his eye. “Ask Google?”

 Betty suddenly caught on and replied, “I have an idea lets ask Google the way to Disneyland instead. I am sure they know where that is.

“OK!” said Billy, with a twinkle in his eye. “Ask Google?”

 

Copyright © Written by John Yeo ~ All rights reserved.

 

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A prompt response for “INSPIRATION MONDAY:” ~ ELEMENTALLY MY DEAR

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ELEMENTALLY MY DEAR

by John Yeo

“Why? Darling what is the problem?”

“You know how much I dislike the man, especially after the way he behaved towards his wife and child. The idiot just up and abandoned them, leaving home with the first woman who happened along. Bringing the subject down to the simplest element of disgust I feel for him, hatred is not a pleasant word. However hatred and distaste together, go for a potent reason to analyse the basics. Why would a man just destroy everything he has built up over a number of years? I tell you my opinion is starkly simple, primitive, and basic, full of hate, disgust, and other elemental emotions.”

“Wow Darling! That is very strong reaction.”

“Simply Elementally my Dear.”

Copyright © Written by John Yeo ~ All rights reserved.

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