BOTTLE OF BAMBOOZLED

SATURDAY 25th JULY 2020

This is a response to a Flash Fiction prompt from ‘Putting My Feet In the Dirt’, Writing Prompts hosted by ‘M’.
Which can be found by following the link below..

A BOTTLE OF BAMBOOZLED

by John Yeo

   His Lordship suddenly passed away from a massive heart attack. He’d always been a man who took risks and he’d invested the family fortune in fine art and antique furniture. His pride and joy had always been his wine cellar which was packed to the roof with racks containing many bottles of rare wine.

    Some months later when the late Lords affairs were settled her Ladyship received a huge bill for death duties. Lady Ronson, was a petite gray haired lady, who’d led a sheltered life, always leaving the financial decisions to her husband. 

     ‘What am I going to do?’ she asked her son. Sir Nigel, who was a sharp stockbroker, with extremely square shoulders. At 6’ 6”, he was a formidable looking man

       ‘Well Mother, we’ll have to raise money quickly by selling off the family silver, starting with Father’s wine cellar. I know just the people to deal with this for us, Coldmarten and Carter, a firm of auctioneers who specialise in fine wine.

  A few days later Sir Nigel arrived with a portly fellow with a handlebar moustache, wearing a brown tweed suit. 

    ‘Mother, allow me to introduce you to Professor Coldmarten, a respected, proficient, auctioneer, he would like to examine the wines in Father’s cellar with a view to valuing them for auction.’

     ‘Of course!’  said Lady Ronson.

Two hours later Professor Coldmarten and Sir Nigel approached Lady Ronson with some sad news.

   ‘Mother, I’m afraid, Dad has been consistently robbed and bamboozled over the years. Most of the wine in the cellar is valueless. Absolute plonk! We’ll have to have the death duties revised and sell this rubbish for what we can get. Sadly it won’t be much.’

  Some months later when the estate death duties had been revised, Sir Nigel bought a place in Bermuda and retired. Professor Coldmarten became quite prosperous from the sale of some exceptionally rare wines that seemed to have suddenly arrived on the market. Lady Ronson went to live in an upmarket sheltered accommodation.

 Sir Nigel and the Professor visited her Ladyship five years later and they all raised a glass from the last ‘bottle of bamboozled’.

Do you know, the wine was really rather good.

 © Written by John Yeo

BREAD AND BUTTER NEVER TASTED SO GOOD

FRIDAY 24th JULY 2020

This is a response to a Flash Fiction prompt from ‘Putting My Feet In the Dirt’, Writing Prompts hosted by ‘M’.
Which can be found by following the link below..

BREAD AND BUTTER NEVER TASTED SO GOOD 

by John Yeo

  Our hard work on the allotment had finally paid off and we were about to taste the fruits of our labour. We harvested some lettuce, tomatoes, beetroot, onions and some incredibly tasty soft fruit. We proudly took our crops home and laid them out on the kitchen table. Suddenly Margaret jumped back in surprise as a large green caterpillar idly rambled across the table. We both laughed out loud as I exclaimed, ‘Don’t worry, that’s all part of the fun of growing organic vegetables.’ Margaret quickly piled the lettuces into the kitchen sink and turned the taps full on. The stray caterpillar was gently placed on our lawn, I suspect this would have been an alien environment for this wanderer, as there are no handy lettuces nearby and many avian predators to contend with.

   Margaret then had the brilliant idea of preparing a huge club sandwich with some freshly baked homemade bread. I smiled in agreement. Soon the bread maker was in action and the familiar smell of freshly baked bread filled our kitchen. When the bread was made, Margaret cut a thin slice and liberally spread butter all over. The butter was visibly melting into the slice of hot, newly baked, fresh, homemade bread. I slowly consumed this taster, allowing the taste buds to savour the delicious flavour. Bread and butter never tasted so good. 

 I have to admit our club sandwich of fresh home grown tasty vegetables was a bit of an anticlimax after the initial taster. However we both thoroughly enjoyed our well earned, well deserved lunch.

© Written by John Yeo

MIND IN THE MAKING

THURSDAY 23rd JULY 2020

This is a response to a Flash Fiction prompt from ‘Putting My Feet In the Dirt’, Writing Prompts hosted by ‘M’.
Which can be found by following the link below..

MIND IN THE MAKING

by John Yeo

  There was silence in the outer hemispheres of the galaxy for millennia. The elder trolls were unique in the areas of communication throughout the exo-galactic panoply of extraordinary people. Their way of communicating by nonverbal means had been raised to new heights. 

 On an extraordinary blue planet life was formed and developed. Asteroids had collided and re-collided. Comets visited;  bringing chemicals to permeate a life-giving mix of chemicals giving rise to unique life-forms. Exoplasm mingled and re-mingled again in the hands of the entity that was controlling the flow of matter. 

 The life forms mixed and remixed, soon a survivor in the likeness of the controller emerged. “Hey!” Thought the controller; “I am almost there!”

 Then to his delight he heard the word. “Hey!” Repeated back to him.

Shocked, he silently strained his ultrasonic hearing to the limits.

Then the silence was broken by the familiar sound of his Mother’s voice resonating around the galaxy.

“God; put your toys away! It’s late!”

“Oh Mother! Please; Can’t I just have another couple of aeons?”

© Written by John Yeo

THE KISS THAT SAID IT ALL

WEDNESDAY 22nd JULY 2020

This is a response to a Flash Fiction prompt from ‘Putting My Feet In the Dirt’, Writing Prompts hosted by ‘M’.
Which can be found by following the link below..

THE KISS THAT SAID IT ALL

by John Yeo

He was a fledgling jackdaw who’d just left the nest

Driven away from safety forced into flight

Natural forces put his survival instincts to test.

~

He flew to the allotment, where he puffed out his chest.

The gardeners smiled at this unusual sight

He was a fledgling jackdaw who’d just left the nest.

~

He hopped to the fruit bushes, a welcome guest

Jacko feasted and cocked his head without fright

Natural forces put his survival instincts to the test.

~

He came closer, fluffed his feathers and expressed

His fearlessness filled the gardeners with delight

He was a fledgling jackdaw who’d just left the nest.

~

Jacko hardly seemed to notice that predators exist

He was trusting fellow with his eyes shining bright

Natural forces put his survival instincts to the test.

~

Jacko left and was gone for a day and a night.

Giving His new found friends a terrible fright.

He was a fledgling jackdaw who’d just left the nest.

Natural forces put his survival instincts to the test.

~

Margaret and John taken by a sight full of wonder

Jacko a friendly bird had torn their hearts asunder

He appeared to tease and delight beyond recall

They embraced each other with the kiss that said it all.

© Written by John Yeo

SOMEDAY I’LL GET THERE

TUESDAY 21st JULY 2020

This is a response to a Flash Fiction prompt from ‘Putting My Feet In the Dirt’, Writing Prompts hosted by ‘M’.
Which can be found by following the link below..

SOMEDAY I’LL GET THERE 

by John Yeo

   ‘Someday I’ll get there, but I wish the finishing line would become visible. No one knows where we’re going or what this life’s all about. Many, many people, have come and gone in my lifetime. I’ve lived my life, to the best of my knowledge without hurting anyone. I keep puzzling away at the thought of what happens to the thoughts and feelings that have accumulated in my consciousness and have certainly contributed to my ongoing behaviour. These experiences and learned behaviour are ‘me’, whether I like the idea of the ‘me’, I have become or not. The signposts to the future, ‘there’, I’m heading towards are clear in some respects as I travel towards the final, ‘there’. Everything in the here and now I have built, from the resources my short lifespan has had access to, will strengthen my desire to press on and stumble blindly towards the ‘there’, I’m living to reach. Wherever I’m traveling to, is a destination that will only become clear to me when I get there. In the meantime I would like to answer the unanswerable but obvious finality and say to everyone here. Every microsecond I reach another ‘there’, that reveals a milestone which points to another milestone. I cannot but reiterate my first thought…….

Someday I’ll get there.’

© Written by John Yeo.

NICETIES DON’T BRING RAINBOWS


SUNDAY 19th JULY 2020

This is a response to a Flash Fiction prompt from ‘Putting My Feet In the Dirt’, Writing Prompts hosted by ‘M’.
Which can be found by following the link below..

NICETIES DON’T BRING RAINBOWS

by John Yeo

    Grandma Rawlings was an invalid permanently confined to her bed. Little Mary and Peter went for a visit and dashed into her bedroom carrying gifts and sat on the side of her bed.

     ‘Hallo Granny! They chorused, ‘How are you feeling today?’

    ‘Fine thanks, you two. Have you been behaving yourselves and being nice to everyone?’

   Peter replied, ‘Of course Grandma! We got caught in a shower on the way here, but the sun was shining at the same time.’

   Mary laughingly butted in and said, ‘Hey Granny! Did you see the lovely rainbow today?  It was huge and spread right across the sky.’

   ‘Don’t be silly Mary, that’s not very nice. Your Granny has to stay in bed all of the time. However can she see the rainbow outside?’ Interrupted their Mother, who had just entered the bedroom with a tray containing tea and biscuits.

   ‘Oh! Don’t worry dear! Don’t blame the children. They’ll never understand that however good they are, niceties don’t bring rainbows.’

    At that point their Father smiled and said, ‘Oh yes they do! Look here,’ Then he produced his mobile phone with a beautiful photograph of the rainbow.

   The old lady’s face lit up.  ‘Oh Thanks!,  That’s nice!’ 

© Written by John Yeo 

WHAT SHE DOESN’T KNOW WON’T HURT HER

SATURDAY 18th JULY 2020

This is a response to a Flash Fiction prompt from ‘Putting My Feet In the Dirt’, Writing Prompts hosted by ‘M’.
Which can be found by following the link below..

WHAT SHE DOESN’T KNOW WON’T HURT HER 

by John Yeo

   ‘Doctor, may I know what the odds of survival are for this condition? I realise it’s a new disease and you are probably going  to say you don’t know! I’m extremely concerned about my Mother, who is of an unfortunate nervous disposition. I don’t want anything to upset her. I would appreciate it if she’s not informed that she’s ill at all. My Mother worries if she suffers from illness, I’m certain if she ever finds out she’s contracted Covid19, she will die of shock. This will almost certainly push her over the edge. Three people have already died in the care home where she’s staying. I realise it’s almost a terminal diagnosis but there is a chance she may survive if she’s not informed of your diagnosis.  Please don’t tell her! Yes! I realise I don’t have any right to ask you to withhold your diagnosis, but I beg you to make an exception on this occasion to save her life. Surely, what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her.’

  The Doctor drew a breath, pulled a sheet of paper from the file on the desk and studied it for a while.

He looked up and smiled, then he grinned broadly and almost laughed out loud.

     ‘I’m sorry Doctor but I don’t think this is a laughing matter. In fact I find your attitude to be decidedly obnoxious. What do you mean by it?’

    ‘Well, I will have to inform your mother of the results of the tests and all will become clear. Nurse, can you show Mrs Smithers in please?’

     ‘Ah! I have extremely good news for you Mrs Smithers. Your test shows you don’t have the Coronavirus, you simply have a heavy cold with slight congestion.’

© Written by John Yeo

A PIECE OF THE PULL

THURSDAY 16th JULY 2020

This is a response to a Flash Fiction prompt from ‘Putting My Feet In the Dirt’, Writing Prompts hosted by ‘M’.
Which can be found by following the link below..

A PIECE OF THE PULL

by John Yeo

  The family were all seated around the dining table for the annual feast. Dad, Grandad, Peter, and David with Auntie Lil and Uncle George. The wine and the soft drinks were flowing freely and the table layout was a work of art. The atmosphere was happy, with some nice Christmassy conversation. The highlight appeared when Mum came into the room bearing a huge turkey on a trolley. There were gasps all around at the array of vegetables and the delicious looking roast potatoes. The wine glasses and the children’s glasses were all recharged and a pre-dinner toast was made,

 ‘To a Happy Christmas and many more of them.’ said Dad and everybody raised their glasses in a toast.

Peter, then piped up and said, ‘Can we pull the crackers now Dad and wear our funny paper hats?’

   ‘Of course!’ said Dad, ‘Go ahead.’

   Excitedly the two boys grabbed their crackers and made to pull them. ‘Hold on,’ said Grandad,  ‘We’re supposed to take a cracker in each hand around the table and pull them. Aren’t we Auntie Lil?’

 Soon there was agreement and with a series of bangs and pops, the crackers were pulled.

 Suddenly an argument broke out as Peter and David had unequal shares of the crackers they’d just pulled.

   ‘Hey Dad, Peter has my share of the pull as I’ve only got two empty ends.’ complained David.

   Mum played the Judge and swapped a couple of ends and donated her hat to David.

Peace then settled at the family dinner?

© Written by John Yeo

SORRY, BUT I NEEDED MY COFFEE

WEDNESDAY 15th JULY 2020 

This is a response to a Flash Fiction prompt from ‘Putting My Feet In the Dirt’, Writing Prompts hosted by ‘M’.

Which can be found by following the link below..

SORRY,  BUT I NEEDED MY COFFEE

by John Yeo

   The sedate silence in the office was broken by occasional hushed voices making calls or taking part in video conferencing. Mary was munching on a chocolate bar enjoying an impromptu break, when Harold suddenly appeared alongside her desk. ‘How’s the project coming along Mary?’

    Mary shrugged and replied, ‘Not good, the pressure is intense as they keep moving the deadline’

   Harold made some sympathetic noises and asked, ‘How would you like it if I brought you a nice cup of coffee from the brand new machine the bosses have installed in the kitchen?’

    Mary smiled appreciatively and said  ’Ooh Thanks Harold! That would be lovely. My treat this time.’ Opening her purse she tipped a pile of change onto her desk.

 Harold swept up the change and went off to fetch the beverages.

 Suddenly the hushed silence in the office was shattered with some loud banging noises accompanied by loud expletives emanating from the office kitchen.

 My Saunders the office manager dashed into the kitchen to find Harold kicking and banging the brand new machine and shouting loudly.

  ‘Harold, what’s going on here? You are making an incredible racket and disturbing everyone.’

  ‘Sorry Mr Saunders, this damnable excuse for a coffee machine has taken my money without delivering any coffee.’

    ‘Harold that’s not the sort of behaviour we appreciate in this office. I’d like a word with you in private.’

    ‘OK, Mr Saunders, I’m sorry but I needed my coffee.’

   ‘Harold! How much do you need your job?’

© Written by John Yeo

CALL THE PLUMBER; I’M STUCK

MONDAY 13th JULY 2020

This is a response to a Flash Fiction prompt from ‘Putting My Feet In the Dirt’, Writing Prompts hosted by ‘M’.
Which can be found by following the link below..

CALL THE PLUMBER; I’M STUCK

by John Yeo

  Sammy was examining his feet while he was soaking in a hot bathtub. Linda, his wife walked into their spacious, luxurious bathroom, with a tray containing two drinks and some nibbles. Sammy did like indulging, while soaking away the aches and pains and stresses of the day. He idly pushed his left toe into the bottom of the left tap.

     ‘Linda, my left big toe is smaller than my right big toe, do you think there’s any significance in this difference.’  Sammy gave a gentle tug to remove the toe without any visible effect.

    Linda grinned and said, ’Yes, I have heard that it signifies that the left side of the brain is smaller than the right side.” Sammy gave a more forcible tug without any effect, his toe was firmly jammed. He picked up his drink and polished it off in one. He’d already had a skinful earlier in the day at the office. 

    ‘Really, you mean that? I think you’re trying to pull my leg. My left big toe is so far away from the left hand side of my brain. Surely there is no connection.’  He was beginning to panic a bit as his toe was firmly jammed in the tap.

   Linda  was beginning to enjoy this sub-aqua conversation enormously.  ‘Of course there’s a connection! All parts of the mind and body work in unison.’

 Sammy’s toe was beginning to get sore and he suddenly shouted,

‘Linda! I can’t shift my toe! Call the plumber; I’m stuck!’

© Written by John Yeo.