PANCAKE PANDEMONIUM

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SATURDAY 8th AUGUST 2020

This is a response to a Flash Fiction prompt from ‘Putting My Feet In the Dirt’, Writing Prompts hosted by ‘M’.
Which can be found by following the link below..

August writing prompts

PANCAKE PANDEMONIUM

by John Yeo

 There was a feeling of mutiny in the air at Clive college. One of the teachers had caned a popular boy for his insolence. Apparently he had had the effrontery to refuse to clean the corridor with a bucket and polish, not only that, he had stuck his tongue out at the matron, when she asked him to do it.  It was Shrove Tuesday and after the normal assembly, where prayers were recited, the whole school had been treated to a lecture on obeying instructions instantly. Tom Magillen, a senior boy and his sidekick,  Clive Charter, called together their ‘circle of seven’, a group of friends who always stuck together. 

    ‘We can’t allow this treacherous assault on one of our number to go by unanswered.’ Said Tom.

   Clive agreed emphatically and replied, ‘Last term we had a similar incident and staged a bun fight at supper time. We could always try something like that again and make our point.’

  ‘You’re right there!’ Exclaimed Tommy Dorset, if we all act together they will have difficulty punishing the whole school and at least we’ll have made a point.’

  Tom Magillen then spoke up again, ‘We all need to pass the word around at breakfast time this morning and when I give the nod we should start the riot.’

 Pancakes were on the menu at lunchtime and this was where the school cook came into his own and served 200 pancakes, mostly liberally drenched in thick gooey syrup  When the plates heaped with sticky pancakes where passed around and reached the final table, Tom Magillen nodded towards the top table where the senior staff sat. Instantly the air was full of flying sticky pancakes flooding toward the senior staff table. It was pancake pandemonium as the senior staff were instantly covered in sticky, gooey, treacle and pieces of flying pancake. Within seconds the dining hall had emptied of pupils. The culprits behind this riot were never brought to book as the telling of this story would certainly cause some ripples of embarrassment for the good name of the school, if the local press got wind of it. 

© Written by John Yeo 

EERIE SIRI

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THURSDAY 6th AUGUST 2020

This is a response to a Flash Fiction prompt from ‘Putting My Feet In the Dirt’, Writing Prompts hosted by ‘M’.
Which can be found by following the link below..

August writing prompts

EERIE SIRI

by John Yeo

    ‘I never use Siri or Alexa, simply because I find the idea far too eerie. I find it quite disturbing to think that a machine can actually personalise answers to lifestyle questions. I get the feeling that this requires a deep study of my personal likes and dislikes. I am aware that every site I visit on the internet is recorded. Everywhere I go is monitored through my mobile phone, thereby building a complete picture of my habits and lifestyle. Everyone I call or electronically contact is registered, this gives an even clearer picture of my lifestyle and the social status I’ve achieved in life. I’m loath to add to this massive store of electronic information regarding my habitual lifestyle and I never use Siri or Alexa. I consider this accumulation of data connected to me and my lifestyle to be a gross invasion of my personal privacy. I look with horror on the future of mobile communication aids that will possibly include a built in camera that can automatically switch on and off and film my entire waking and sleeping life in incredible detail. Who would be able to view the astonishingly boring episodes but an unfeeling, unthinking machine. My only request for both Siri or Alexa, would be. ‘Hey Switch off!’

© Written by John Yeo

BITTER BANANAS

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WEDNESDAY 5th AUGUST 2020

This is a response to a Flash Fiction prompt from ‘Putting My Feet In the Dirt’, Writing Prompts hosted by ‘M’.
Which can be found by following the link below..

August writing prompts

BITTER BANANAS 

by John Yeo

Pedro and Miguel entered the bar sensing the drama

That had taken place in this Cabana that morning,

A fight had broken out over the bitter taste of bananas.

~

They ordered two banana smoothies and two Americanos,

Pedro grabbed the barman’s collar and issued a warning,

Both men wore multicoloured identity shielding bandanas.

~

Miguel placed a hand on the polished bar in Havana,

A hand of juicy yellow bananas without any forewarning,

‘Use these for our smoothies, not your green bitter bananas.’

~

Miguel and Pedro entered the bar with a hand of bananas,

The barman grabbed them and soon the juicer was forming

Two perfect smoothies, accompanying two Americanos.

~

Pedro and Miguel paid the bill and headed for the savannahs, 

The barman then waited to juice his bananas, confirming

He never had trouble again, from serving bitter bananas.

© Written by John Yeo

IT’S NOT ROCKET SCIENCE

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TUESDAY 4th AUGUST 2020

This is a response to a Flash Fiction prompt from ‘Putting My Feet In the Dirt’, Writing Prompts hosted by ‘M’.
Which can be found by following the link below..

August writing prompts

IT’S NOT ROCKET SCIENCE

by John Yeo

    Brains was in the process of constructing a hoax, in the form of a practical joke. He put a secondary hidden wire behind a simple light switch leading to a surprise destination. Brains was top of the class in Science and he felt he had to justify his position. He was acting as if he was new to the subject after a new assistant teacher arrived. 

  Mr Tweed, a bumptious upstart bully who delighted in showing up the students had picked on him in front of the whole class. To the surprise of everyone in the class Brains was asking questions on the simplest of subjects. 

   ‘Excuse me Sir, can you detail the constitution of electricity.’

   ‘What do you mean by that you idiotic moron, everyone knows. Electric charge is a fundamental property of matter, borne by particles.’ 

  ‘How do you switch on an electric light or a lamp, to convey the electricity to the bulb?’ asked Brains.

  ‘Are you kidding me, you impudent misbegotten escapee from the planet of the apes?’

  There was dead silence in the class as the students held their breath, waiting for a response to this obvious insult.

  ‘No Sir, I leave all that to the butler and the maid at home, my Father says I don’t have to worry.’

   ‘Look here! It’s not rocket science. Just screw in the bulb and flip the switch.’

With that the teacher flipped the room light switch and received a nasty electric shock. There was pandemonium as the lights fused and the matron was called. Mr Tweed was whisked off to the infirmary.

  Meanwhile Brains removed all signs of his electrical trap.

  A week later Mr Tweed returned to the class, he warily treated Brains with a new respect, having realised the embarrassing truth. 

© Written by John Yeo

BFF – BUCKET FILLING FRIEND

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 MONDAY 3rd AUGUST 2020 

This is a response to a Flash Fiction prompt from ‘Putting My Feet In the Dirt’, Writing Prompts hosted by ‘M’.
Which can be found by following the link below..

August writing prompts

BFF – BUCKET FILLING FRIEND

by John Yeo

  ‘Hey Grandad and Grandma! Why have you got a wishing well on your allotment?’ 

   The grandchildren were on holiday and there were five children to be entertained. Four boys and a lively baby girl were exploring and helping out on the allotment. The sun was shining, the children were constantly under supervision and Grandma had her hands full. Grandad pushed his battered trilby hat to the back of his head and smiled.

    ‘Well, sit down for a minute and I’ll explain about a precious part of gardening, while Grandma sorts out the picnic. Water is special to help the garden plants grow, but our well is really special. This well is extremely deep, the bucket is attached to a long rope. We have a magical friend at the bottom of the well, Wally Wishbone lives there and every time we lower the bucket he fills it to the brim with crystal clear, life giving water. We then quench the thirst of our vegetables and they grow extra strong, large and tasty.’

   ‘Hey Grandad, does Wally Wishbone make wishes come true?’ asked Finley.

    ‘Of course, but you have to throw a coin in.’

 Bradley, who had been listening closely, frowned and said, ‘We haven’t got any coins Grandad. How can we make a wish.’

     ‘It just so happens, I’ve got five coins in my pocket, you three bigger boys will have to throw Maya’s and Archer’s coins in as they are both too small.’

     OK! Grandad chorused the three eldest boys.

Ronny at ten years old, was the eldest, a thoughtful sort of a lad said,

    ‘Grandad what happens if we throw the money in and our wishes don’t come true? How do we know Wally Wishbone won’t just keep the money?’

Grandad straightened his trilby, grinned and replied, ‘We don’t know anything for sure Ronny, except we have some excellent sandwiches prepared by Grandma from our fresh home grown vegetables. Wally Wishbone fills buckets full of crystal clear water making our wishes come true every day.’

Grandma Margaret working  exceptionally hard.

© Written by John Yeo

DELIGHTS AND DELICIOUSNESS

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SUNDAY 2nd AUGUST 2020

This is a response to a Flash Fiction prompt from ‘Putting My Feet In the Dirt’, Writing Prompts hosted by ‘M’.
Which can be found by following the link below..

August writing prompts

DELIGHTS AND DELICIOUSNESS

by John Yeo

    ‘Hey what are we going to do today? We can’t go far as we are in the middle of the ocean all day long.’ said Dominic to Joy, his wife.

    ‘I don’t know Dom, I think I’m a little bit seasick, my stomach feels really queasy, turning over with the billowing waves,’  Joy replied.

  ‘That’s funny, so do I, It’s as if I’ve been on the fairground, Big Dipper ride. This is our first cruise so we are probably taking a while to get used to the swell of the waves at sea. We can get some seasick tablets free from reception.’  said Dominic.

  ‘Hey Dom, look! They’ve organised a special lunch today with a free cocktail, on the house.’

    ‘Doesn’t appeal to me, not with my crazy upset stomach.’ 

   ‘Oh! Can’t we just go and take a look. Please Dom.’

    ‘OK,’

They entered the crowded dining room where they were immediately handed a free green coloured cocktail drink with a cherry on the top. They both grimaced and abandoned them on the nearest vacant table.

    ‘Oh Dom, your face has gone as green as those two horrible concoctions.

  The couple then surveyed the tables around them, groaning with the weight of a wonderful array of delights and deliciousness. The first thing was the meticulous way the food was displayed. Multi breads from around the world, with cheeses in abundance with olives, grapes and pickles. A large salad bar with seafood and fish, including a whole smoked salmon and caviar displayed in abundance. Exotic fruits were carved into the most amazing shapes, around a huge ice-sculpture of a large eagle. The main courses were representative of foods imported from around the world. Then to finish there was the temptation of the dessert section, pavlova, ice cream, and much more.

Joy looked at Dom and burst into tears. ‘All these delights and deliciousness but we daren’t touch a morsel.

Dom frowned.

© Written by John Yeo

IF OUR STARS ALIGN

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SATURDAY 1st AUGUST 2020

This is a response to a Flash Fiction prompt from ‘Putting My Feet In the Dirt’, Writing Prompts hosted by ‘M’.
Which can be found by following the link below..

August writing prompts

IF OUR STARS ALIGN

by John Yeo

   Girish and Lakshmi were promised to each other and the arrangements for their wedding were underway. The odd thing was that both sets of their parents had received hazy indeterminate astrological forecasts for their future together. Girish’s father had spent thousands on a series of well known astrologers with the same indefinite response. Likewise Lakshmi’s Mother and Father. The astrologers just couldn’t agree. The thing was, the young couple were actually in love with each other. Everyone in both families agreed the children were ideal for each other and it would be the perfect match to marry the fortunes of both families together. 

 Girish’s father one day came up with a solution, he approached a famous out of town philosopher Dr Khan and explained the situation.

 ‘Can you help us out of our predicament? The situation is becoming intolerable, some of the shades of opinion are beginning to differ radically.’

Dr Khan, hesitated, before he replied,

‘Well, I’m not an astrologer, I’m an astronomer, which is a totally different discipline.’

‘Yes, but can you help us?’

‘ Yes, I think so, if your son promises to marry his future wife when the stars align, all should be well. There is a celestial alignment of the planets due in two weeks time. Instruct him to meet her and promise her. ‘When our stars align we will marry’. This will unite Astronomy with Astrology.’

‘Thank you so much Dr Khan.’

© Written by John Yeo.

PERISTERONIC

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SATURDAY 1st AUGUST 2020 ~ FLASH FICTION

PERISTERONIC

by John Yeo

He was a streamlined silver blue streak

With smooth feathers and a sharp beak

Groomed and reared for perilous flight

Certain to reach home by day or by night.

He delivered his message absolutely sure

From electronic eavesdropping safely secure

His internal compass never led him astray 

Perfectly pigeon in every possible way.

(53 WORDS)

© Written by John Yeo

TRIGGERED BY TIME

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FRIDAY 31st JULY 2020

This is a response to a Flash Fiction prompt from ‘Putting My Feet In the Dirt’, Writing Prompts hosted by ‘M’.
Which can be found by following the link below..

July Writing Prompts

TRIGGERED BY TIME

by John Yeo

    ‘Well Jim, step back when I say the word. Listen closely, we’re going to be experiencing the most amazing thing you’ve ever seen. When I set the clock a huge red balloon will be inflated with the words.  ‘JO WILL YOU MARRY ME?’ This will be triggered by time. Following the balloon going up there will be a massive explosion which will detonate a fantastic fireworks display. All the colours of the rainbow will be featured in the sky. At the same time a carriage pulled by four pure white horses will arrive containing a butler who will hand you the ring to pass on to your good lady, providing she accepts your proposal.’

 Jim was overwhelmed with this proposal.

   ‘It will certainly make it a memorable occasion. How much will it cost?’ he asked.

   ‘£7000,’ replied the bearded man smoothly, ‘But I will give you a 10% discount, to welcome you into the family.’

At that moment Jo walked in and Jim got down on one knee and asked her the time honoured question. ‘Will you marry me Jo?’

‘Of course,’ she replied, ‘I was wondering how long it would take for you to ask’.

With that, the conman  pushed the time controlled trigger and a buzzer sounded in the bar across the road and a barman arrived with champagne and two glasses.

The conman removed a false beard and took his hat off, and said, ‘Welcome to the family Jim.’ 

© Written by John Yeo

THE SOUNDS OF THE ALPHABET

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THURSDAY 30th JULY 2020

This is a response to a Flash Fiction prompt from ‘Putting My Feet In the Dirt’, Writing Prompts hosted by ‘M’.
Which can be found by following the link below..

July Writing Prompts

THE SOUNDS OF THE ALPHABET

by John Yeo

Synaesthesia a magical process

Turning sound into colour.

Musical instruments bring to life

The beautiful sounds of the alphabet

~

Skiffle, Rock, Country sound,

My youth in words, Swirling around.

Lonnie, The King and the Famous four,

Crooners, Swooners and many more.

~

Vid Sicious, Punk Rock,

Safety pins and the Union Jack.

Shouting, pouting, Strolling clones,

Gyrating, ear-aching, mind numbing tones.

~

Then, conversion through a live performance,

An orchestral night out with a friend,

Feeling apprehensive and very mellow,

Admiring a pretty girl, cradling a Cello.

~

The bow is poised, the strings are silent,

The mind is focused.   Expectant!

The baton is raised, the sound reverberates,

A beautiful Cello sings.

~

A cloudburst of music then resounded,

Each note, a rainbow hued drop of magic.

Gathering force and bursting forth

Entering and impressing my consciousness.

~

The sensual Cellist, lost in producing,

The magic of the sounds.

My mind is taking in her interpretation.

The mechanics of the piece.

~

She reads the script from the music sheet,

Stroking the bow across the strings.

Producing sounds that shake the Soul

Sending the mind on a journey.

~

The notes flow from the instrument,

The musician interprets the composers’ creation.

Mellow sounds fill the air, colourful, resonant.

Each note touches a nerve, the nerve ends tingle.

~

Sound reaches out to colour the brain.

Interpretation begins.

Using the instrument to bring to life

The beautiful sounds of the alphabet.

~

Picturing a beautiful Swan from “The Carnival of the Animals”

Composed and created by Camille Saint-Saens.

© Written by John Yeo