CHASING A FEELING

Posted on Dec 28, 2016 by John Yeo | 2 Comments

A prompt response for ~ Inspiration Monday: Chasing a Feeling

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CHASING A FEELING

by John Yeo

That split second the day the world stopped turning and stars seemed to be exploding and bursting all around.

An explosive mixture of sensuous sparks bursting through the brain cells igniting unknown, unused, pure pathways of pleasure. Blood racing through every venous pathway of the body unlocking previously unknown levels of the heights of pleasure. Love had arrived, unannounced and unintended in the shape of this anonymous lady of the night.

Then before he had time to react, she was gone leaving a physical wreck of a man.

James knew he had just experienced something irretrievable. The moment was gone forever, nothing would ever come close to recapturing that magical moment of unique fantastic coming together of nerve cells stimulating nerve cells culminating in a peak of plasmatic perfection.

James became a social butterfly flitting from flower to flower desperately trying to recapture the perfection of a moment that had gone forever.

I am Dr. Eva Swanson, a practicing Hypnotherapist, James was fast becoming a nervous wreck, out of touch with reality, when his GP doctor referred him to me.

I examined the young man standing before me closely. I looked into blank, black eyes; eyes that revealed a tortured soul looking out. Eyes that refused to connect, I can only compare them to a pair of moths that refused to settle on an incoming gaze.

“Hello James;”

“Hi!” Came a monosyllabic reply, in a voice that seemed to have been dragged under a steamroller and flattened.

“I have studied your records and I have come to the conclusion that I can help. I have a revolutionary new therapy. “Hypnoempathy.” I regress your mind and your experience to the point of the disturbance and we mentally share the feelings together and work through this extreme disturbance empathically.”

“OK!” Came the flat monosyllabic response.

“I will see you again in a week’s time James; I would like you to see my secretary on your way out and she will make an appointment and give you the date.”

“OK!” Was James flat reply.

One week later I welcomed James to the consulting room with Nurse Maria present. And we started the first of ten empathic preparatory sessions. We were using the new untested hypnotic drugs for maximum effect.

On the eleventh week, my patient and I were ready to experience and perhaps counteract the effect of the original experience.

The nurse retired from the consulting room and the empathic regression began.

Sparks flew as our two minds regressed to the point of the heights of an astonishing level of sensuousness as our joint feelings exploded into an orgasmic physical frenzy. I have never experienced the purity of these deep sensuous feelings before.

At the end of the hours, consultation the nurse arrived and the regressive experience was over.

My patient was a new man after this treatment, but I felt there was room for improvement and I asked him to make a twice weekly appointment until further notice to cement his new personality.

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EVERYONE ELSE WAS LAUGHING

Posted on Dec 19, 2016 by John Yeo | Leave a comment

A writing prompt from Grammar About..

http://grammar.about.com/od/topicsuggestions/a/50Prompts.htm

Image courtesy of pixabay.com

EVERYONE ELSE WAS LAUGHING

by John Yeo

The show was billed as a top-notch experience, not just a comedy, an amusing experience; one that would cheer everyone up. It struck Gino’s nerves to the core when the lights finally went down. He knew then that this embarrassment would never make him laugh. There he was with his trousers in his hand being chased out of a farmer’s field by a fierce bull with long sharp horns. His face was hidden, but his bottom was clearly on display as he desperately tried to outrun the fierce bull. He knew very well whose rear that was; he had a clear recollection of the course of events leading to this unfortunate incident.

Gino and Alex were out filming and photographing wild birds with the local photography club.

“Look Alex! That’s a rare Egret on the banks of the brook running through that field: Let’s climb over the gate and try to get some photographs.”

“Should we?” Alex cautiously asked. “Surely it’s private property. I’ll come with you to the gate but that’s as far as I’ll go.”

The rest of the group also declined to enter the field and waited with Alex watching and filming the Egret from a distance. Gino quietly crept up on the unsuspecting bird and secreted himself in some bushes on the bank and began filming. Suddenly Nature of a different variety intervened and he thought, ‘It’s a good job I’m under cover. That curry I had last night is having a devastating effect. I will squat here behind these bushes.’

There was heard a bellowing roar and the sound of galloping hooves as a huge 2000 lb bull arrived and charged towards him.Gino grabbed his trousers and ran hard for the gate where his friends from the group were waiting and filming his escape, curled up with hysterical laughter.

Now one week later the group were sharing their birdwatching experiences! ☮

FISHY DISH

Posted on Dec 6, 2016 by John Yeo | Leave a comment

A prompt response to ~ http://thinkwritten.com/category/creative-writing-prompts/

No. 338. Word of the Day: Go to a website that has a word of the day and use it in a poem, story or journal entry you write.

http://daily.wordreference.com/
Basic+ Word of the Day: dish

Image courtesy of Ermilia’s blog on WordPress

FISHY DISH

by John Yeo

The auctioneer’s assistant was gingerly holding up an unusual dish. The dish was lavishly decorated with images of fruit and flowers. Billy the assistant was holding his breath, this was reputed to be an extraordinary piece of work. The illustrations were hand painted and the markings on the base indicated that this piece originated in Russia. The implication was that this dish had been stolen and secretly smuggled into Britain, rumour had it that this incredibly historical dish had once belonged to a girlfriend of Ivan the Terrible, the Tzar of all the Russia’s in the sixteenth century, who had presented a full dinner service to his girlfriend as a gift to win her hand. This exquisite piece of china was a part of that set, the remainder of which was now housed in the famous Hermitage museum in St Petersburg. Billy could feel his hand trembling slightly as this information was passed to the assembled buyers in the auction room.

Right at that moment a man dressed strangely in a Russian Cossack outfit leapt at Billy waving a sword, shouting in broken English:
“This is a bloodstained dish tainted with the blood of creatures consumed by creatures. Bloodstains that will never wash away!”
Billy in a shocked defensive reaction, threw the dish at the approaching swordsman. The dish broke into a million pieces.
The Auctioneer, shocked; dropped his gavel, picked up a gun and shot the menacing intruder dead.
History was made and lay in fragments on the floor.

A PANOPLY OF FOOLS

Posted on Dec 3, 2016 by John Yeo | 2 Comments

PanoplyDaily Prompt on WordPress 3rd December 2016 ~ PANOPLY

Titania and Bottom in a scence from A Midsummer Night’s Dream, by Edwin Landseer. Public domain via Wikimedia Commons –

A PANOPLY OF FOOLS

by John Yeo

It was a rather special afternoon all the members were holding their breath in anticipation. Today was casting day for the local drama society, rumour had it that some extraordinary special guests would be attending the auditions.
The play we would be performing was to be William Shakespeare’s Midsummer Night’s Dream.
I had reluctantly joined the West Chester drama society at the behest of my dear wife Penelope, who is a regular performer. This was to be a first, I have never acted in my life before and I was feeling incredibly nervous about the prospect. I gingerly made myself known to the other members of the group as we entered a local pub, “The Leering Donkey.”

“Hello everyone, I’m Peter, nice to meet you all.” There were several nods and smiles of welcome and approval from the assembled members of the drama group.

I was a bit unnerved, when a tall young man came bustling up and said;
“Hi and welcome I’m Lawrence. Wow! You will be perfect for the role of Nick. Penelope darling! Well done; your husband will be perfect for the role I have in mind.”

“Nick?” I asked, “I don’t remember a character by the name of Nick in Midsummer Nights Dream. I read the play last night at home!”

Lawrence smiled and said, “Don’t worry Peter, the character you have been selected to play has an important role to play! I think you will be perfect for the role of Nick Bottom. A very sought after role indeed!”

“BOTTOM!” I exclaimed: “You mean the character with an Asses head, the bloody fool?”

“Peter this is not just any old fool you will be playing here! Bottom is a very important fool. Out of all the panoply of Shakespeare’s fools Bottom is the finest. I think this role could be the start of a well-revered career: Bottom was one of the leading performers in the Mechanicals. I think you will be perfect for this part. Am I not right Penelope darling?”

“Are you mad? I refuse to get involved with this! Anyway! Who do you think you are calling darling? That’s my wife you are addressing.” I said, becoming quite annoyed by the sly inferences of this toffee-nosed idiot.

“Just a theatrical term lovey. It’s a great pity; Won’t you change your mind? I think you would be perfect for the role; I’m sure you would look exactly right playing the character with an asses head.”

“Bugger off!” I said walking out of the pub.

One month later Lawrence and my wife Penelope had set up home together. I swear if I ever wake up from this horrible dream, I will get my revenge.

JANUARY BLUES

Posted on Dec 2, 2016 by John Yeo | Leave a comment

This article was written for “QUINTET,” our Parish magazine, requesting submissions on the theme of January Blues

JANUARY BLUES

Sowing the Seeds of Recovery

by John Yeo

Uplifting Christmas carols and music. Sparkling, colourful lights have now been replaced with the shock of the after-effects, and the cold gray winter weather of January.

A moment of taking stock, counting the cost of the revels that have gone before.

This time of the year can be a lonely time after the celebrations are over and the family have all left and gone their separate ways

We plan to visit several people, neighbours, and friends who we know will appreciate a chat and a few moments of company. A cheery word in the right ear can bring magic to a sufferer of January blues.

For some, January is a time of reflection on the past year, with high hopes for the future We feel the lowness of mood, that follows the high Christmas cheer, of the celebrations with friends and neighbours.

January is a month of gloomy darkness.

Cold, dreary weather, when the blue of the skies is obscured by gray cloud, midwinter frosts, and freezing temperatures.

There is a recognized uneasy mood affected disorder around, known as seasonal affective disorder or SAD for short. Light therapy is a way this disorder is treated by exposure to artificial light.

Perhaps another way to combat SAD is to bask in the benefit of the light that the enlightenment of the epiphany has revealed, by the special relaxed calmness that can be obtained through prayer and having faith that the future is a mystery that has yet to be solved.

Another way to chase the blues away is by planning a holiday, this is one of the most popular ways to combat the January blues. Just seeing piles of brochures with photographs of beautiful blue skies, and impressive surf with waves pounding into some golden sands is certain to lift the most downtrodden spirits.

Sadly the alluring TV adverts and seductive brochures, that drop through many of our letterboxes, can actually contribute to a deep feeling of depression, especially when some of us will never have the financial means or health to take advantage of them.

Again this is a time to be considerate and cautious, with the sure knowledge that things can improve with the reaching out of a warm connecting smile.

As a gardener and an avid grow-your-own enthusiast on my allotment. Easily the most satisfying, rewarding and entertaining way to spend those long January evenings, is with an enormous pile of seed catalogues and brochures; planning the growing year in advance. I can picture myself in the Spring, sowing tiny minuscule seeds, taking care of the seedlings to promote growth. I can close my eyes and picture an array of wonderful flowers in full bloom. I can picture fresh wholesome tasty vegetables that will bring a smile of satisfaction to my face with the sheer joy of accomplishment.

The January blues will swiftly become a faint memory as I look into the gardening future.

“Cheer up my friend Spring will certainly arrive. How are you today?”

TOUR-de-FARCE

Posted on Nov 12, 2016 by John Yeo | 2 Comments

Images Courtesy of pixabay.com

A prompt response for ~ Inspiration Monday: Tour-de-Farce

http://bekindrewrite.com

TOUR-de-FARCE

by John Yeo

The caravans were parked in a circle on the village green, strategically encircling a large canvas structure, affectionately known to all as the big top. The circus had come to town! Overnight the village green was transformed, closed in, with a huge area roped off.

A siren shattered the calm of the village as a paramedic arrived, just in time to deliver a healthy bonny boy with a powerful pair of lungs.

Billy arrived, born in a caravan; his arrival coincided just as the evening performance was about to begin. His Mum and Dad were professional Clowns

Postnatal depression soon kicked in; Billy’s Mum was clearly affected by giving birth. Her husband was sympathetic, although he was suffering from a long-term depression himself.

The circus was always on tour, village to village, town to town, a different background to get used to all the time.

Dogs guarded the children while the family worked in the big top. Friends; all circus performers, Acrobats, Jugglers Tightrope Walkers and Dancers all took responsibility to care for the children.

The Ringmaster ruled the roost, travelling, always travelling; another week, another town as the circus toured the country.

Education on the move, Billy attended a different school in every town the circus visited. Mum and Dad taught him all they knew. How to be funny! How to apply makeup to please the customers.

Uncle Coco committed suicide by overdosing on antidepressants

Mum and Dad were more sorrowful than ever. They practiced a new water routine to keep the customers happy. The makeup told a different story as the painted smiles hide the truth. The matinee audience roared with laughter on the day of Uncle Coco’s funeral.

Billy found the funeral sad as the hearse delivered the coffin containing Uncle Coco’s remains that were quickly consigned to the flames. Uncle Coco’s ashes travelled through many small towns until the touring circus reached his home where his ashes were ceremoniously buried in the local cemetery.

Another week another small town, the circus tour was never ending. The big top always full, to bursting.

Billy began to grow up fast and sharp, he became a quick-witted, sensitive young man, following in his father’s footsteps.

A very gifted clown who knew how to make people happy with his funny routine.

Then one sad day in the life of Billy arrived with a tremendous shock, Rover his trusty Labrador dog who, went with him everywhere, died suddenly. Billy was devastated at this turn of events, crying uncontrollably. The time for the show arrived and Billy’s father was desperately trying to calm him. As he applied makeup to Billy’s face, the ringmaster arrived and insisted he take his place in the circus ring.

With these words his, Father sent him to the circus ring.

“Laugh Billy, Laugh! You are a clown to fool around and make people laugh. You will always work in the circus on a perpetual Tour-de-farce. No one will ever understand the tears of a clown.”

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THE QUESTION

Posted on Oct 28, 2016 by John Yeo | 3 Comments

A prompt response for ~ Inspiration Monday: Uncertain Death

http://bekindrewrite.com

THE QUESTION

by John Yeo

Mr. Spokes looked at the class and said, “Good Morning class.”

“Good Morning Sir!” Chorused the assembled group of thirteen-year-olds.

“Today we will discuss a subject that is closely bound up with everything we say and do in life. We are going to talk about something that most people would think is unmentionable in polite circles. Can anyone make a guess at this subject?”

Three of the students instantly raised their hands. Mr. Spokes coughed loudly and said. “Put your hands down if you have come to the answer of sex or sexual relations.” The three hands instantly disappeared. Mr. Spokes looked disappointed; “Can’t anyone here think of anything else?”

There was a deafening silence until Sammy looking thoughtful said, “Everything else is discussed on the television or on the Internet Sir!”

“Good thinking Sammy, but not quite everything. What about death? Or to put it more obscurely. What about uncertain death?”

“Uncertain death?” Said Tommy to Mary, sniggering. “What’s that? My Mum says the only certainty in life is the certainty of death.”

Mary grinned; she liked Tommy, they had always sat next to each other in school, since the first day they had met each other, only to discover they lived a stone’s throw from each other on the same road.

“I don’t know what death is. I never think much about death,” she whispered, blushing.

“Mr. Spokes,” Tommy said loudly , “What do you mean by uncertain? I’ve heard death certainly comes to all of us. When my Grandma died, Mum says we have all got to die some time. She said Grandma has gone to a better place.”

Mr. Spokes grinned and said, “You have just uncovered the uncertainty of death Tommy. If your Grandma is dead how can she go to a better place?”

Sammy then interjected, “We buried our cat in the garden when it died last year. Tibbles went into a hole in the garden, that wasn’t a better place.”

Mary who professed not to know anything about death, suddenly asked. “What about Jesus? In Sunday school they say he died and came back. My Auntie believes we never really die.”

Mr. Spokes smiled and said, ”Some doctors in hospital say, people who have died, have come back to life again!”

There was silence in the classroom for a few minutes before Mr. Spokes suddenly said.

“Class we have just discovered the uncertainty of death. Easy really!

I now want you all to go home and ask your parents and friends the question “How certain is death? Then write an essay on the results. Class dismissed.”

Tommy grinned at Mary and said, “Maths lesson next, at least that’s a certainty.”

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UNCERTAINTY

Posted on Oct 25, 2016 by John Yeo | 2 Comments

A prompt response to ~ http://thinkwritten.com/category/creative-writing-prompts/

No. 296 – Cravings: Write about craving something:

Image courtesy of pixabay.com

UNCERTAINTY

by John Yeo

“Phillip! Stop gazing out of the window. What is it that is fascinating you so much? You have been sitting in that chair for ages, just gazing out of the window, staring at nothing. I see the trees and our garden lawn. There is nothing else to be seen; tell me what is it that is holding your attention? What do you see?”

“Father, sorry I am deep in thought I see wealth beyond our means, I see riches enough to comfortably follow the sun from one end of this earth to the other. I see the luxury enjoyed by the super-rich. I feel our inadequacy when I see the wonderful lifestyles enjoyed by other more fortunate people, daily flashed into our home by the media. I want to be like those people, I crave the means to escape from the everyday drudgery of our humdrum lifestyle. I want wealth, travel, fine food and clothes with the chance to mix with people who know how to love life and live life to the full.”

“Philip, my son, Mother and I have given you our all, everything we possess is yours, but you are talking nonsense. You are an intelligent young man and you will go far in your chosen profession, everyone thinks highly of you and you will be extremely comfortable one day. Please forget these impossible ideals of limitless wealth. Crave to be happy and comfortable with a lovely wife and family, this is a realistic set of ideals that you will certainly achieve. Banish these impossible cravings and live.”

“Father, I love and respect you and I value your advice; but I see how hard you have to work to survive, I see the lines on your face that reveal a life that has lived through some tough times. I have this unbearable craving to be wealthy; I will do anything to escape and luxuriate in the life lived by the super-rich. I feel if I can find a way to accumulate enough money quickly, I will be able to satiate my cravings that hunger for wealth and the life my needs require.”

“What do you mean by anything; Philip? I see a glittering pathway in front of you with a happy comfortable future, but these unrealistic desires are impossible to achieve. How do you propose to get rich quick to accumulate the money to fund the lifestyle demanded by these impossible cravings?”

“Father, I have a plan, a brilliant plan that involves a mathematically infallible system I have worked out how to break the banks of all the major casinos in this country. I have spent the last two years working day and night on this system. It is an unbreakable chain of numbers that will certainly get what I want.

I just need your help to start the ball rolling with some cash, I know you will be able to get a second mortgage to help me by advancing me some funds. Of course, I will be able to pay you back as I will be extremely wealthy.”

Philip’s father’s, angry, shocked, face revealed his feelings.

“Gambling!” He exclaimed. “You propose to borrow money from your Mother and me to fund your risking everything by gambling? Never son! This is something I will never condone, I am sure there is no such thing as a perfect system, and I refuse to have anything to do with any hair-brained scheme just because of your insatiable desire to be wealthy.”

Philip looked strangely nonplussed by this reaction, “Father I am sorry you feel this way, I was sure you would help. I have already approached a firm of unsecured lenders to raise money to test the system, and it really works. I have paid them back their loan with a huge sum of interest. I thought you would welcome the chance for our family to be unimaginably wealthy. I would use the initial winnings to invest in the stock market and we would have more than enough to enjoy life to the full.

Philip smiled as he left the house that day, never to return in his parents lifetimes. He became extraordinarily wealthy by using his system and diversifying the winnings, thus defeating his craving for limitless wealth.

Sadly another craving slowly took over his life, as he craved the excitement of the turn of the cards. The unbreakable system proved to be as fallible as his Father had predicted.

Ah! But that’s another story.

CRACKED ICE

Posted on Oct 21, 2016 by John Yeo | 1 Comment

A prompt response for ~ Inspiration Monday: We Come in Pieces

http://bekindrewrite.com

Free image from pixabay.com

CRACKED ICE

by John Yeo

It was the same every night, the conversation would haunt me, I kept going over it in my mind.

“Multifaceted, he called me! A man of many parts! What does that mean? Who is he to judge me or my makeup. I pride myself on being a unique entity; an entity that is definitely a whole unit. A very together individual!”

I exclaimed, peeved at the remark. I had interpreted as a veiled criticism. “He had been implying I was a jack of all trades, therefore a master of none.”

“Calm down Peter, he meant to say you are adaptable able to turn a new face to any part of your life at any moment.”

My wife Judy, a trained teacher, was always quick to defend another member of her profession. I had decided late in life to attend an adult education class at the local institute. I had become set in my ways and I needed a new challenge to keep my mind alive.

It started with a few drinks with my fellow students. This was the beginning of the fall down the slippery slope to ruin. I met and stupidly fell for a fellow student, Maria, I was besotted with her and this led to my wife Judy, leaving me and taking our two children with her.

The drink then began to take a firm hold and I lost my job. Maria became disillusioned and demanded I leave the flat we shared, this was in her name and I had to leave. I found myself on the streets with nowhere to go.

I then realized the hidden meaning behind the conversation that had been haunting me and the importance of the word multifaceted. My life had come to pieces. smashed to bits by my own actions.

My wife who had been a major piece of my life had left me.

I now have no contact with my children or any part of their lives.

My profession and my source of income had vanished.

My sense of self, an important part of my identity was now lost.

My home, self-respect, and self-assurance were now irretrievably gone.

Incredibly, I felt all the important aspects that made up my life were now lost forever.

We are not always aware we come in pieces unless we allow life to come to pieces.

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http://bekindrewrite.com

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

THE PASSIVE STABILITY OF THE PERFECT LOCK

Posted on May 9, 2016 by John Yeo | Leave a comment

This is a piece of Flash Fiction based on and inspired by the above photograph

THE PASSIVE STABILITY OF THE PERFECT LOCK

by John Yeo

An amorphous fog was the general state of mind, as far as the future was concerned for Jack, as his life suddenly underwent an incredible change.

The consulting-room in Harley Street, London, was a plush well furnished suite of rooms.

“Good morning Sir! How can I help you?” enquired a tall smartly dressed, pretty young woman, in a soft cultured, reassuring voice.

‘Wow! Thought Jack, she is obviously a well educated secretary, probably a daughter of wealthy Caribbean parents.

“Wwwell!” he stammered awkwardly, “I have an appointment to see Dr Green, my name is Mathews, Jack Mathews.”

“Just a moment Sir. Ah yes! I will let him know you are here. Please take a seat in the waiting room.”

Jack sat down in the luxurious surroundings and took in the incredible array of reading material that was strategically placed on various antique coffee tables. ‘I don’t feel like reading’ he thought. His eyes roamed over the walls, he was soon overwhelmed by the gallery of beautiful paintings displayed.

One particular picture caught his eye. The artist had painted a figure of a man running in abject terror, with his hands covering his face. ‘Obviously based on the famous picture by Edvard Munch,’ he thought. ‘What is that doing here?”

Then incredibly the image changed to a picture of his life before the bonds of his perfect marriage changed everything. He had been running away from life, until Meg became a part of him. Love had been overwhelming and beautiful, a strong relationship developed, marriage had followed a year later. Bonded, never apart, each day sweeter than the last,

Many deliriously happy years later the suspicions began to set in. Many differing tests followed; each one pointing more directly to the terminal diagnosis.

‘I must do something to tempt the Lord of chance to smile on me. The diagnosis will not come as a terrible shock’ he thought as he went over the last few years in his mind.

“Doctor Green will see you now, Mr Mathews.” the secretary smiled as she said these words.

Jack entered the Doctor’s office nervously with a large lump in his throat, his heart was racing.

Then he became aware that the doctor was actually smiling. Jack was taken aback as the Doctor went on to say. “I am pleased to say you are totally clear of the symptoms of the cancer you have displayed and you should be clear of fears for the future. Your marriage is the key to a long and a happy life. Congratulations!”

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CHASING A FEELING

That split second the day the world stopped turning and stars seemed to be exploding and bursting all around.

Then before he had time to react, she was gone leaving a physical wreck of a man.

James knew he had just experienced something irretrievable. The moment was gone forever, nothing would ever come close to recapturing that magical moment of unique fantastic coming together of nerve cells stimulating nerve cells culminating in a peak of plasmatic perfection.

James became a social butterfly flitting from flower to flower desperately trying to recapture the perfection of a moment that had gone forever.

I am Dr. Eva Swanson, a practicing Hypnotherapist, James was fast becoming a nervous wreck, out of touch with reality, when his GP doctor referred him to me.

I examined the young man standing before me closely. I looked into blank, black eyes; eyes that revealed a tortured soul looking out. Eyes that refused to connect, I can only compare them to a pair of moths that refused to settle on an incoming gaze.

“Hello James;”

“Hi!” Came a monosyllabic reply, in a voice that seemed to have been dragged under a steamroller and flattened.

“OK!” Came the flat monosyllabic response.

“I will see you again in a week’s time James; I would like you to see my secretary on your way out and she will make an appointment and give you the date.”

“OK!” Was James flat reply.

One week later I welcomed James to the consulting room with Nurse Maria present. And we started the first of ten empathic preparatory sessions. We were using the new untested hypnotic drugs for maximum effect.

On the eleventh week, my patient and I were ready to experience and perhaps counteract the effect of the original experience.

The nurse retired from the consulting room and the empathic regression began.

Sparks flew as our two minds regressed to the point of the heights of an astonishing level of sensuousness as our joint feelings exploded into an orgasmic physical frenzy. I have never experienced the purity of these deep sensuous feelings before.

At the end of the hours, consultation the nurse arrived and the regressive experience was over.

My patient was a new man after this treatment, but I felt there was room for improvement and I asked him to make a twice weekly appointment until further notice to cement his new personality.

EVERYONE ELSE WAS LAUGHING

Gino and Alex were out filming and photographing wild birds with the local photography club.

“Look Alex! That’s a rare Egret on the banks of the brook running through that field: Let’s climb over the gate and try to get some photographs.”

“Should we?” Alex cautiously asked. “Surely it’s private property. I’ll come with you to the gate but that’s as far as I’ll go.”

There was heard a bellowing roar and the sound of galloping hooves as a huge 2000 lb bull arrived and charged towards him.Gino grabbed his trousers and ran hard for the gate where his friends from the group were waiting and filming his escape, curled up with hysterical laughter.

Now one week later the group were sharing their birdwatching experiences! ☮

FISHY DISH

by John Yeo

A PANOPLY OF FOOLS

“Hello everyone, I’m Peter, nice to meet you all.” There were several nods and smiles of welcome and approval from the assembled members of the drama group.

I was a bit unnerved, when a tall young man came bustling up and said; “Hi and welcome I’m Lawrence. Wow! You will be perfect for the role of Nick. Penelope darling! Well done; your husband will be perfect for the role I have in mind.”

“Nick?” I asked, “I don’t remember a character by the name of Nick in Midsummer Nights Dream. I read the play last night at home!”

Lawrence smiled and said, “Don’t worry Peter, the character you have been selected to play has an important role to play! I think you will be perfect for the role of Nick Bottom. A very sought after role indeed!”

“BOTTOM!” I exclaimed: “You mean the character with an Asses head, the bloody fool?”

“Are you mad? I refuse to get involved with this! Anyway! Who do you think you are calling darling? That’s my wife you are addressing.” I said, becoming quite annoyed by the sly inferences of this toffee-nosed idiot.

“Just a theatrical term lovey. It’s a great pity; Won’t you change your mind? I think you would be perfect for the role; I’m sure you would look exactly right playing the character with an asses head.”

“Bugger off!” I said walking out of the pub.

One month later Lawrence and my wife Penelope had set up home together. I swear if I ever wake up from this horrible dream, I will get my revenge.

JANUARY BLUES

Sowing the Seeds of Recovery

Uplifting Christmas carols and music. Sparkling, colourful lights have now been replaced with the shock of the after-effects, and the cold gray winter weather of January.

A moment of taking stock, counting the cost of the revels that have gone before.

This time of the year can be a lonely time after the celebrations are over and the family have all left and gone their separate ways

We plan to visit several people, neighbours, and friends who we know will appreciate a chat and a few moments of company. A cheery word in the right ear can bring magic to a sufferer of January blues.

For some, January is a time of reflection on the past year, with high hopes for the future We feel the lowness of mood, that follows the high Christmas cheer, of the celebrations with friends and neighbours.

January is a month of gloomy darkness.

Cold, dreary weather, when the blue of the skies is obscured by gray cloud, midwinter frosts, and freezing temperatures.

There is a recognized uneasy mood affected disorder around, known as seasonal affective disorder or SAD for short. Light therapy is a way this disorder is treated by exposure to artificial light.

Perhaps another way to combat SAD is to bask in the benefit of the light that the enlightenment of the epiphany has revealed, by the special relaxed calmness that can be obtained through prayer and having faith that the future is a mystery that has yet to be solved.

Sadly the alluring TV adverts and seductive brochures, that drop through many of our letterboxes, can actually contribute to a deep feeling of depression, especially when some of us will never have the financial means or health to take advantage of them.

Again this is a time to be considerate and cautious, with the sure knowledge that things can improve with the reaching out of a warm connecting smile.

The January blues will swiftly become a faint memory as I look into the gardening future.

“Cheer up my friend Spring will certainly arrive. How are you today?”

TOUR-de-FARCE

The caravans were parked in a circle on the village green, strategically encircling a large canvas structure, affectionately known to all as the big top. The circus had come to town! Overnight the village green was transformed, closed in, with a huge area roped off.

A siren shattered the calm of the village as a paramedic arrived, just in time to deliver a healthy bonny boy with a powerful pair of lungs.

Billy arrived, born in a caravan; his arrival coincided just as the evening performance was about to begin. His Mum and Dad were professional Clowns

Postnatal depression soon kicked in; Billy’s Mum was clearly affected by giving birth. Her husband was sympathetic, although he was suffering from a long-term depression himself.

The circus was always on tour, village to village, town to town, a different background to get used to all the time.

Dogs guarded the children while the family worked in the big top. Friends; all circus performers, Acrobats, Jugglers Tightrope Walkers and Dancers all took responsibility to care for the children.

The Ringmaster ruled the roost, travelling, always travelling; another week, another town as the circus toured the country.

Education on the move, Billy attended a different school in every town the circus visited. Mum and Dad taught him all they knew. How to be funny! How to apply makeup to please the customers.

Uncle Coco committed suicide by overdosing on antidepressants

Mum and Dad were more sorrowful than ever. They practiced a new water routine to keep the customers happy. The makeup told a different story as the painted smiles hide the truth. The matinee audience roared with laughter on the day of Uncle Coco’s funeral.

Another week another small town, the circus tour was never ending. The big top always full, to bursting.

Billy began to grow up fast and sharp, he became a quick-witted, sensitive young man, following in his father’s footsteps.

A very gifted clown who knew how to make people happy with his funny routine.

With these words his, Father sent him to the circus ring.

“Laugh Billy, Laugh! You are a clown to fool around and make people laugh. You will always work in the circus on a perpetual Tour-de-farce. No one will ever understand the tears of a clown.”

THE QUESTION

Mr. Spokes looked at the class and said, “Good Morning class.”

“Good Morning Sir!” Chorused the assembled group of thirteen-year-olds.

“Today we will discuss a subject that is closely bound up with everything we say and do in life. We are going to talk about something that most people would think is unmentionable in polite circles. Can anyone make a guess at this subject?”

Three of the students instantly raised their hands. Mr. Spokes coughed loudly and said. “Put your hands down if you have come to the answer of sex or sexual relations.” The three hands instantly disappeared. Mr. Spokes looked disappointed; “Can’t anyone here think of anything else?”

There was a deafening silence until Sammy looking thoughtful said, “Everything else is discussed on the television or on the Internet Sir!”

“Good thinking Sammy, but not quite everything. What about death? Or to put it more obscurely. What about uncertain death?”

“Uncertain death?” Said Tommy to Mary, sniggering. “What’s that? My Mum says the only certainty in life is the certainty of death.”

Mary grinned; she liked Tommy, they had always sat next to each other in school, since the first day they had met each other, only to discover they lived a stone’s throw from each other on the same road.

“I don’t know what death is. I never think much about death,” she whispered, blushing.

“Mr. Spokes,” Tommy said loudly , “What do you mean by uncertain? I’ve heard death certainly comes to all of us. When my Grandma died, Mum says we have all got to die some time. She said Grandma has gone to a better place.”

Mr. Spokes grinned and said, “You have just uncovered the uncertainty of death Tommy. If your Grandma is dead how can she go to a better place?”

Sammy then interjected, “We buried our cat in the garden when it died last year. Tibbles went into a hole in the garden, that wasn’t a better place.”

I was a bit unnerved, when a tall young man came bustling up and said;
“Hi and welcome I’m Lawrence. Wow! You will be perfect for the role of Nick. Penelope darling! Well done; your husband will be perfect for the role I have in mind.”